Liet's Diary
by doitsuchick
Summary: A deep exploration into Fem!Lithuania's life from her diary.
1. Victorious

Dear Diary,

I'm sitting down here at my desk and recalling today's battle. I know I should be celebrating, doing something worthwhile, yet here I am, writing to you. Well, I'm also watching the candle light flicker. I suppose I should write of the battle.

I looked up to see a grinning face. He had red eyes and white hair and a cocky aura to him.

"Ah! Look at you little girl! You dare challenge mighty Prussia?" He beamed.

I look him straight in the eyes, "Taip."

"Kesesese! This should be interesting, huh?" He smiled still.

Regardless of the fact I was smaller than him and my breathing was accelerating, I was determined to fight and win.

We both backed away from each other to notify our army.

My general's eyes widened, "what have you done?"

Although I was anything but confident I forced a smile, "We will win, it's okay general, don't be so worried."

He looked up to the opposing army and gazed for a few seconds, he then nodded and yelled, "mokestis!"

Prussia smiled "What are you scared of, little girl?"

"I'm not scared of anything." I replied as bravely as I possibly could.

_He was taunting me_

I knew that.

I try to think of anything that will help me.

_Strategize._

But how?

"What's wrong? Can't handle the heat?"

I ignored his repetitive comments.

He had bags under his eyes, he was tired.

I suppose it made sense since he spent his days running around like an idiot challenging everyone.

I had an idea.

I ran away from the battle, but I could hear Prussia chasing me.

He was fast, but I had to be faster.

I grabbed a cloth and laid it on the ground. He was right behind me now.

We were running around a tree.

"Come on little girl! I won't bite… too hard. Kesesese."

I jumped onto the tree and climbed up.

It was difficult; I felt the stiff bark scratching my face.

The heavy armor I wore made it harder too, as you would imagine.

"Damn it." I hear him mutter.

I sit on a branch and watch him smiling.

"I'm not leaving!" He shouts.

"Nor am I." I respond.

He growls and kicks the ground but then the cloth I laid down before caught his attention.

He smiles," I can wait all day." He then lies down on the clothes and watches me until his eyelids get heavy.

I smile as he fights to open them but fails miserably.

He was asleep and now was my chance.

I climbed to the edge of my branch and I jumped.

I jumped straight onto the great Prussia.

His eyes fly wide open in surprise and a groan escapes his lips.

"Uhh." He mutters.

My general ran to me, "Madame, we won the war!"

I fix a weak smile, my whole body ached.

"Madame? Are you okay?" He frowns.

"I don't think so." I choke back tears.

Now I am back in my lovely home and after my fight with Prussia, I have become weak.

That is why I cannot celebrate. An ominous air seems to linger. It's been that way since I have become broken and weak. I know a big country will come and take me over. The thought is unsettling but to say it isn't the truth would put me in denial.

Yours truly,

Torii


	2. Don't Defy The Master

Dear Diary,

I am sitting here in a room with two other unfamiliar nations. They are also scared. They are Estonia and Latvia. Latvia is very small and he is shaking, Estonia looks about the same age as me, maybe younger, he looks as though he is in deep thought.

The room we sit in is deathly quiet. It's not even a room, but a dungeon. The walls are cold and stone.

Latvia speaks up finally, "D-do you guys remember how you got here?"

Estonia furrows his brow and stares at the stone floor, "I am trying to recall it but I can't seem to think right now."

I nod my head in agreement with Estonia.

Latvia loses his composure and wails, "I wanna go home!"

"Shhh!" Estonia growls.

Latvia reduces his voice to a whisper, "It's so cold in here."

I glance up at the fragile little boy, he shakes even more than before.

"Here," I whisper, "Take my coat." I take my coat off and hand it to Latvia.

He looks up surprised, "Really, do you mean it?"

I chuckle, "Of course, you need it more than I do."

"Thanks, Lithuania, you said it was right?"

"Yeah, I'm Lithuania."

Estonia closes his eyes, "I believe we have been captured by another nation."

"I think the same." I sigh and stare at the wall.

Latvia also closes his eyes and rocks himself while humming. He then buries his head into his chest and clutches the coat even closer and after a few minutes I hear his soft snoring.

"Poor Latvia, he's so small." I whisper to Estonia.

"He's older than he looks; I just wish he would stop whining all the time." Estonia sighs.

I nod.

I believe I should try and sleep, even though I doubt I'll be able to.

Torii

I hear a voice in my sleep, "They look cute in their sleep, da?"

I frown, the voice seemed to make my blood stir and make me feel uneasy.

"I suppose, big brother." A girls voice this time that was even creepier than the man's.

"Oh, I really don't want to disturb their slumber, this is the last time they will smile in their sleep." The man's voice chuckles.

I move in my sleep trying to shake off the eerie dream.

"Oh look at that one, she is moving." The man laughs.

I frown even more.

"_This isn't a dream" _Part of me realized.

"Da, she is." The girls voice again.

"Oh that one is so short, Bela!"

"Mhm." It sounded as though the girl's patience was wearing off.

"They will be even cuter as my slaves, da?"

"Da." The girl responds with clear irritation.

"Okay, I am bored of their slumber." The man sighs.

I felt him step on my hand harshly.

"Oww!" I shout and open my eyes to see two figures looming over us.

The minute I shouted, Latvia opened his eyes, he had been leaning on my shoulder. Latvia then nudged Estonia.

The man had light blond hair and cold violet eyes, he had broad shoulders and a large body frame, the girl, his sister, had the same blond hair and violet eyes.

The girl wore a bow in her long blond hair and a dark purple dress, a white waist apron, and had black Mary Jane's on her feet. The man was clad in a long heavy tan coat, green pants, brown gloves, and had a long tan scarf wrapped around his neck.

The man seemed friendly and happy since he wore a bright smile as he looked down at us. His sister, however, wore a scowl and crossed her arms and glared at all three of us.

"Privet, I am Russia." He smiles.

All of us mumble our hello.

"You will all work in my house and serve me, da?" this was not a question.

We nod our heads solemnly.

His smile grows even brighter, "I'm not sure where I shall have you sleep, but is the dungeon comfy for you?"

We glance at each other not sure if this was a trick question and that there was a right or wrong answer.

"No, sir." Latvia pipes up.

I bit my lip as I watch Russia's eyes grow even colder.

"Excuse me?" Russia cocks his head to the side but keeps his smile.

"I said the dungeon's not very comfortable, sir." Latvia responds again.

I glance towards Estonia who also wears a worried look.

"Come here, little boy." Russia beckons.

Latvia wears a very scared look as he stands up and walks slowly towards Russia.

Russia slaps Latvia with a force that smacks Latvia into the wall. Latvia cowers on the ground.

"Stand up!" Russia growls.

Latvia doesn't listen and continues to hug his knees.

Russia laughs and walks over to Lativa, cocks his head to the side then puts his boot on Latvia's head.

"Why aren't we cooperating?" Russia smiles.

"I dunno sir!" Latvia whimpers.

"Are we going to listen to our master from now on?" Russia inquires.

"Of course, sir!"

"And you two?" Russia looks up.

We jump in surprise.

"Yes sir." We answer together.

"Good, then we should not face any problems, and we will all be happy here, da?"

Me and Estonia and I nod our heads but Latvia couldn't since he was still under the pressure of Russia's boot.

"Latvia?" Russia whispers sweetly.

"Mhm." Latvia responds quickly.

"Mhm? Is that anyway to respond to your master?"

Latvia yelps as Russia increases pressure. "I mean yes!"

"Yes?" Russia laughs, "Yes?"

"I meant no!" Latvia cries.

"So you are defying me already?" Russia frowns.

"No- Well I am not _trying _to defy you."

Russia bends down and picks Latvia up by his collar and presses him into the wall.

"What is your answer, Latvia?"

"Yes?"

Russia slams Latvia into the hard stone wall.

Latvia cries, "I am sorry!"

"I didn't ask for an apology." Russia drops Latvia onto the ground.

Latvia crawls toward me and Estonia and hugs his knees and rocks slowly.

"From now on you will address me as Master or Sir, Da?" Russia smiles again.

"Yes sir." We all respond, including Latvia.

.


	3. Porridge

I have decided to refrain from writing 'dear diary' at the beginning of all of my entries because this is not a diary. This is my life; I must record it all here and relive everything. I am no longer a little girl who wrote of petting a cat or seeing a handsome nation.

We have been living in Mr. Russia's house for two weeks now but he has worked me so hard I hardly have time to sleep, let alone write. He had moved us into more comfortable chambers. We sleep on a bunk bed, Estonia on the top, me in the middle, and Latvia on the bottom. Sometimes when Latvia gets nightmares or he's had a hard day he crawls into bed with me. Estonia and Latvia are already asleep but I am writing because Mr. Russia is visiting Mr. China. Belarus is in charge of us right now.

I really like Belarus, she is very pretty and I wish I could get to know her better.

I believe now, I should relive some of these past two weeks for you.

In the kitchen I scramble for the right ingredients for the borscht Russia has commanded me to make. I had never cooked before so I was clueless, I had always been served.

I remember jumping up and down in the kitchen in anticipation for my favorite meal. The chef smiled at me and asked me if I would like to learn how to cook.

I laughed, "No way, it seems too hard, besides I am afraid of getting burnt."

The chef smiled, "You never know, one day it may save your life."

Now I realize he was right.

Cooking would have saved my life.

Estonia burst in, "Lithuania, how is the borscht coming along?"

"Estonia! I have no idea what I am doing." I exclaim.

He bites his lip, obviously he is clueless too.

Russia shoves Estonia and walks in, "What is taking so long."

"Nothing, sir, I am cooking it now." I respond coolly.

"Lithuania, are you lying to me?" He smiles.

I frown and I couldn't respond at first, "Yes sir."

Estonia's mouth drops open and his eyes widen.

Russia laughs and grabs my shoulder harshly and steers me toward the empty pot on the stove.

"Then I will help you." He says.

I look worriedly toward Estonia, but he shows no look of comfort.

"You may not forget what I am teaching you." Russia says sternly.

"Yes sir." I respond weakly.

"You too, Estonia." His eyes flash towards the door.

"Yes, master."

Russia works at the food like it is art. When he has everything in the pot he turns on the stove.

"See that, Lithuania?" He gestures toward the fire.

I nod my head, "Yes sir."

"Feel it."

"Hmm?" I ask alarmed.

He laughs at my surprise, "You must know the correct temperature, Lithuania."

"Y-yes sir." I have my fingers hover over the flame with uncertainty.

Russia grabs my wrist and jerks my hand into the flame.

I bite my lip.

I will not yell.

I will not give him any satisfaction whatsoever.

Russia laughs, "Lithuania you are strong," He lets go of my wrist, "I like that."

I learned how to cook that day. Estonia and I will never forget it. Me more so, since I have the scars to remind me every day.

Master Russia bullies us whenever he gets the chance.

"Latvia, where is my vodka?" Russia inquires.

"We don't have anymore, sir." Latvia whispers.

"Pardon?" Russia stands up quickly, his chair falling behind him.

"I forgot to pick some up at the store, sir." Latvia's eyes stared into the carpet.

Russia walked toward Latvia, "How do you expect me to eat and enjoy my meal without vodka?"

Russia laid his hand on Latvia's head.

"I'm not sure, Sir." Latvia whimpered.

Russia's hand pushed more and more onto Latvia's head. Russia was laughing.

"Sir, it's my fault!" I step forward.

Russia cocks his head to the side, "Da?"

I nod my head.

That was the first night I took the blame for my friends faults.

It also wasn't the last.

"Lithuania, come here." He beckons.

I walk toward him slowly in fear.

He cupped his hands over my chin, "Why did you forget my vodka?"

"I am not sure what I was thinking, sir." I respond my eyes staring down.

He grabbed my arm and examined it. He then twisted it painfully and continued until I collapsed onto the ground.

"Perhaps next time, you will think right." He smiles.

In my bed that night, Latvia crawled in next to me.

"I am so sorry, Lithuania! I didn't mean to make you go through that!" Latvia cries.

"Shh, It's fine, pain doesn't last forever." I stroke his head.

His eyes are full of tears as he looks up at me, "You are so strong, Lithuania."

Belarus examines us lazily. "You have chores to be doing, da?"

Estonia and Latvia nod.

"Yes ma'am!" I smile.

She slants her eyes and looks at me suspiciously.

"Very well then get to it! Also I want some porridge for breakfast."

"Yes ma'am, I will get that for you right away."

I hurry into the kitchen and hum as I boil hot water for Ms. Belarus's porridge.

"What the hell is with you?" Estonia crosses his arms.

"Nothing I just like Belarus watching us as opposed to Russia."

Estonia nods, "Fine, but you do realize she is just as crazy?"

"Take that back, Estonia!" I frown.

Estonia sighs, "Get back to the porridge, Lithuania."

The water screams to signify it's done almost on cue,

I carry the porridge on a tray to Ms. Belarus's room. I knock on the heavy wooden door.

"Who the hell is it?" Her voice snaps.

"It's me madam, I have your porridge you requested."

She sighs, "Come in."

I open the door to find her staring at a picture of Mr. Russia and running her fingers up and down over his image.

"Ah, sorry." She says and places the photograph under her pillow.

She stood up and grabs the tray from my hands and sits on her bed.

She glares at me, "You are now dismissed."

"But I would like your opinion on the porridge, Miss." I frown.

"Uh, fine." She sighs. She spoons some into her mouth.

"This tastes like shit." She crosses her arms.

"Pardon me?" I asked desperately hoping I hadn't heard her correctly.

"Did I stutter?" She growls.

She shoves the tray back into my arms and mutters "Why brother lets you cook for him, I'll never know."

"Miss, would you like me to try again?" I whisper.

"Nyet! Now get out of my presence!" She screams.

"Yes Ma'am" I mutter.

Outside of Belarus's door I see Latvia and Estonia.

"Didn't go too well, did it?" Estonia asks.

"No." I sigh, "She hates me."

"I told you she was just as crazy as Mr. Russia, didn't I?" Estonia sighs.

"She is not crazy! It's just my cooking needs some improvement." I frown.

"Are you crazy?" Latvia asks.

"No I just wasn't giving it my best shot, I'll try again tomorrow and Miss Belarus is sure to change her mind!"

Estonia, sighs, "Come on guys, we better get to our chores."

As I lie in my bed now, I realize I felt something for Belarus. I desperately wanted her to feel the same towards me.

_But how would I get her to?_

I will improve my cooking!

I will make the best porridge she has ever tasted tomorrow.

Labanakt

Torii


	4. No Escape

I am in pain and I can't help but wince as I write. We have been with Mr. Russia for a while now, but I have neglected to write since I have been busy with my chores, improving my cooking, and pleasing Mr. Russia.

Well, lately I have failed at pleasing Mr. Russia.

I tried to run away. Don't ask me what I was thinking, because honestly, I don't know.

Here's how it happened:

I am witnessing Latvia being crushed under Mr. Russia's boot again and this time it hurt me. The first time, I had hardly known Latvia, I didn't want it to happen to him but still I hadn't shared the pain as I did now. His cries and wails for help felt like a dagger to my heart.

"Lithuania," He whimpered.

I couldn't handle it, I tried my best to push Mr. Russia off of Latvia.

Mr. Russia at first looked surprised but then laughed. He grabbed my hair and yanked my head back.

"Are you feeling left out, dear Lithuania?"

He smashed me into the wall and threw me onto the ground.

"You won't act on impulse again, will you?" he asks.

I shake my head.

I wouldn't because I was leaving.

When he left Estonia mopped the blood off of my face and Latvia sat next to me and cried.

"Don't cry, Latvia." I sigh and grab his hand.

"Stop doing that! I hate it when you take my blame!" Latvia wails.

"As do I, Lithuania." Estonia sighs and reaches for an ice pack.

"I'm sorry, you guys. I can't handle it when he hurts you." I avert my eyes to the ground.

"We can't handle it when you get beat for our faults." Latvia sniffles.

Estonia nods in agreement.

"I'm leaving tonight." I whisper.

Estonia looked alarmed, "I strongly advise you against it, Lithuania."

"Please don't, Lithuania! He'll find you!" Latvia starts to cry again.

"It's okay, you two, I will get away and get help from other nations, we'll be free." I say.

"You'd be risking so much." Estonia frowns.

"Free?" Latvia whispers.

I knew exactly what he was thinking. We'd been slaves for years now. Freedom was a dream, a dream we dare not even speak of amongst ourselves.

Estonia sighs, "I advise you against this, but if you feel you need to, I cannot stop you."

I smile, "Thank you Estonia." I then stand up and brush my apron off.

Latvia grabs my hand, "Don't forget about me, please." He looks so cute.

I laugh and squeeze his hand, "Never."

I was almost positive Mr. Russia was asleep since this was the time he disappeared into his room for the remainder of the night.

I crawl out of my window and slide down the tree that was near the window. I glance up towards the house and waste no time, I start to run. I ran for a long time and then I stopped to take a break.

I breathed heavily. I was in the woods now. I felt an eerie feeling, as though someone was here watching me. I glance around nervously, only me and the trees.

As much as I tried to reassure myself, the feeling wouldn't go away.

I heard some movement in the trees. I had to cover my mouth to silence a gasp.

Rain started to pour and made it even harder for me to see.

Someone was here coming towards me.

I found a large tree and hid behind it. After a while of not hearing anything, I slid down to sit. My heart was about to pound out of my chest. I hugged my knees and shut my eyes.

_I am safe now, I am safe now._

No matter how many times I replayed it in my head, I couldn't believe it.

I started to weep, I felt like I was in a hopeless situation.

I look at my scars that had been produced by Russia and wept even harder.

_Even if I escape, I'll always have these scars to remind me_

Suddenly I hear breathing behind me. I shut my eyes and try to stay still. I knew his breathing all too well. Russia was on the opposite side of the tree.

I knew there was no point in running, he heard me weeping. Although, I had no idea what he was waiting for.

I hear his footsteps as he walks around the tree.

"You are done now, da?" His face emotionless, he was not even wearing his usual smile.

I nod my head.

He stuck out his hand and I grabbed it.

I stood and looked him in the eyes.

His eyes were like the cold Russian winters, Cold, unforgiving. Yet now, his eyes seemed to have a softness in them.

He put his hand on my face and traced the bruises softly.

"You tried to run away, da?" He still does not lift his eyes to mine.

I nod my head.

"Why?" He then raises his eyes to meet my gaze.

I had so many reasons, yet I knew Russia would never understand any of them.

"You know you're my favorite." He says returning his graze to the grass.

That surprised me. I felt angry all of a sudden, _was beating me the most how you show your deep affection?_

Part of me already knew the answer to that: _yes._

He bent down and kissed me.

His lips were cold. It was like I grabbed an ice cube and pressed it to my lips. That made me feel more at ease.

_I am just pressing an ice cube to my lips, I am not kissing the very man who has hurt me the most, the man who beats me senseless almost every day, the man who hurt little Latvia without a sense of mercy._

I pulled away and cried.

He pulled me into his shoulder causing me to weep even harder.

"Come on, we must go back home." He picks me up with ease and throws me over his shoulder.

I wanted to thrash and fight and yell, _your home, but that will __**never **__be my home._

He carried me into his room and lied me down onto his bed. He continued to stand over me and gaze.

"Lithuania." He whispered.

I open my eyes to meet his, "Hm?"

"You know I must punish you, right?" His face was still emotionless.

I was speechless, but I forced myself to nod.

"Stand." He commanded.

I force myself up.

"Turn around." I still do as he says.

I felt pain rip through me as his whip slashes through my shirt and into my skin.

He does it again and again, but I will not scream, fight, or cry.

I look up I see a broken mirror on the wall. Through the remaining pieces I see Russia smiling. My green eyes were filled with tears and my jaw was clenched. I still didn't scream.

_I will never give the enemy satisfaction._

After the 49th whip, he drops the whip and grabs me. He spins me around and pulls me into a kiss. His lips were still hard and cold. He then lied down and forced me to lie next to him. I shivered, _Was he always cold? _After minutes I hear his snores. I then ease my body and try and close my eyes. I still couldn't sleep. At first I didn't realize it but when I opened my eyes, my eyesight was bleary. I was crying. I grabbed the nearest pillow and shoved it into my face.

I then let a cry escape from my lips, Russia still slept.


	5. Mine

I wake to find Russia staring at me. I shiver.

"You understand that you're mine, da?" He looks so serious.

I nod.

"Good." His emotions still don't change.

"May I go get my chores done now, master?" I lift my eyes to his.

He thinks for a few seconds, "Da."

I quickly get up and find myself naked I gasp.

He sits up and grabs my forearm, "There is a robe right there." He points with his free hand.

"Okay thank you, sir." I respond but he still doesn't let go.

I try to free my arm but he doesn't loosen his grip.

"Master?" I frown.

"Ah, sorry." He let's go and lied back down.

I grabbed the robe with haste and nearly ran out the door.

I hurried to my bedroom, I was immensely relieved to see Estonia and Latvia weren't in the room. I undo the robe's belt and take it off. I grab my green dress and slide it on over my head, then I grab my apron and tie it around my waist.

I stand by the door, my hand lingers on the door knob. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. I don't think I was ready to face them. But I _had _to be ready. I couldn't be a coward and hide in my room.

I must go.

I turn the knob and head to the kitchen where I find Latvia sweeping and Estonia cooking.

"Lithuania-san!" Latvia exclaims and grabs me into a hug.

"Latvia-san!" I smile.

"Did you gather an army?" Latvia pulled away from the embrace.

I sigh and shake my head, "Not this time."

Latvia widens his eyes and lowers his voice, "Did Mr. Russia catch you?"

I nod my head.

"Are you okay?" Latvia gasps.

I put a weak smile on my face and nod my head, "I am fine Latvia-san, now go back to your chores, I believe the dining hall needs to be swept."

"Okay! I am just so glad to have you back, me and Estonia-kun were so worried about you!" Latvia then prances out of the room with the broom in hand.

Estonia obviously wasn't fooled, "How bad has he hurt you?"

I lower my eyes, "Not too bad." I lied, this was the worst beating I have received so far.

"Where are you hurt?" He frowns.

"Just my back, really Estonia, I'll be fine." I sigh.

He goes behind me and touches my back softly.

I jump away and yelp.

"You are not fine!" Estonia growls.

"We need to get our work done." I wince as I bend down to get oil out of the cabinet.

Estonia sighs, "I cannot force you to take today off, but if you aren't feeling up to it, Latvia and I will take your work."

"Estonia, please I am fine."

That evening was quiet, no one discussed my brief disappearance. I was glad that Russia seemed to be in a good mood, I suppose he got pleasure from whipping me so much.

"Lithuania." Russia beckons.

I walk towards him but couldn't help wincing from the pain of my fresh wounds.

Russia smiles at this, "Will you please get me some more vodka?"

I nod and walk back towards the kitchen.

"I can do it if you don't want to." Estonia frowns,

"Or me!" Latvia pipes up.

"I'll be _fine _you two, please stop making such a big deal out of nothing." I sigh.

I walk back into the dining room and find Russia sitting there smiling. I walk towards the table and unscrew the top off of the bottle making sure not to meet his gaze.

As I pour some vodka into his cup he grabs me by the waist and pulls me closer, I try not to wince.

Just then Belarus walks, "May I join-" she stops in mid-sentence when she sees me with Russia.

"Da? What do you want?" Russia frowns.

Belarus is shaking with anger. I struggle to free myself, but his grip just tightens. Belarus grabbed a spare glass that had been sitting on the table and squeezed it in her hand, it broke into a million pieces.

"I ask that you do not disturb me when I dine from now on." Russia commands.

Belarus turns sharply and puts her hand on the knob and squeezes it tightly.

"Wait, Belarus!" I call, I didn't want her to dislike me, I had worked so hard for her to at least eat half of the bowls of porridge I made.

"Don't you dare, сука!" She growls and disappears.

"She's fine." Russia shrugs.

I was frozen with awe.

Russia grabbed me into a kiss and only let go when he needed to breathe.

"Sir, perhaps you should finish your meal before engaging into anything." I say making sure to choose my words carefully.

"You mean engaging myself into something I won't be able to stop?" He cocks his head to the side.

I nodded although I hadn't thought like that at all.

He smiles, "Fine."

When he lets go of me I hurry back into the kitchen.

"What the hell took you so long?" Estonia frowned.

"Sorry he wanted to see if the vodka was good enough." I lied.

Estonia narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "Are you sure, because I saw Belarus go in there and she came out very mad."

I had to think quickly, I would not let them know of Russia's feelings for me.

"That's because Russia denied her proposal to dine together." I wasn't lying.

Now I am sitting up in my bed writing this hoping and praying Russia wouldn't come in here and demand I sleep with him.

.


	6. In My Dreams

In my dream I see a familiar little boy standing across the way. It is snowing out and I have my cute little puppy with me. The boy has an eeriness about him.

"_When I become a big and powerful country we will become friends." _He smiles.

"_We can become friends n-" _

"_No, I promise to work very hard now so I will have it."_

The boy turns and runs away.

I sit straight up and breathe heavily, I have sweat lined around my forehead.

_Who was that boy?_

He seemed so familiar, I could almost place my finger on it but it seemed as soon as I almost had it he wriggled free from my grasp.

I got up from bed and stared out of the window, it was snowing and it was still dark out.

I walk to the door and open it. I peer out into the hallway, no one was there. I tiptoed out and walked down the stairs slowly. I opened the door that led to outside, a world I used to be so familiar with, but now, it seemed a dream. I sat on the bench that was kept out there. And I shut my eyes.

"It is beautiful out, da?"

His voice startles me and I jump. I realized he was sitting next to me on the bench.

When I regain my sense I nod.

"I love snow." He smiles.

I nod again, I was unable to find words.

"Lithuania?"

He doesn't wait for me to respond.

"What is your real name?"

I was surprised, only the closest countries ever uttered their real names between each other, and it was rare then, too.

"If I tell you mine will you tell me yours?" I ask.

"Maybe."

"My name is Torii, what is your real name, master?"

There was a long silence, about five minutes to be exact, "My name is Ivan."

I nod and replay it again in my head, _Ivan._ _Ivan is his name._

"I like that name, Torii, it is very interesting."

"Thank you, Mr. Russia, I am flattered."

Russia shut his eyes for a little while.

"Mr. Russia, why did you want to know my name?"

Russia smiles, "Ever since we met as children, I always wondered what your name was."

I was surprised, _that boy was Russia._

"Why are you suddenly asking now though?" I frown afraid that he could see my dreams.

"If not now, I would never have another chance." He sighs opening his eyes.

"Huh?" _what did that mean? _

He stands up and smiles. He walks in front of me and bends down to kiss my forehead, "You will understand soon, Torii."

He then disappears into the house and I continued to sit there and try to understand what he meant.


	7. Home

**Authors Reply to fellow Liet-lover:**

**Honestly, there is no **_**specific **_**pairing, I plan on definitely having one but I haven't decided what paring yet. You guys leave a review to tell me what you guys want! I was thinking Russia, America, or Poland. If you guys want, I can make a love triangle… or square. Just leave a review.**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS AND HOW YOU ARE ACTUALLY READING THIS.**

Mr. Russia was right.

I continued to sit on the bench for a while until the sun started to rise. In fact, when I saw the sun peak from over the mountain I snapped out of my trance. I shivered and decided it was a good time to go in since I hadn't any clue what Russia was talking about.

I opened the door expecting to see Latvia hurriedly cleaning and Estonia attending to Russia's breakfast, but no one was there. The house was deadly silent and ill-lighted with only the hearth eerily flickering.

I wanted to call out, "Hello? Where is everyone?" But I was terrified since the house had never been in such a state.

I feel a cold wind sweep past me and slightly raised my nightgown. I shiver and shut the door. I stand there for a few more seconds, and then decide it was best to check on everyone.

I mount the cold, hard, steps and grasp the rail in fear. _What had happened?_

I stand outside our bedroom and grasp the knob, but I do not turn it. I listen for any sound of life in the room, first.

The door suddenly flew open pushing me down onto the ground.

"Lithuania! Get up!" Estonia laughs and offers me his hand.

"Shhh!" I hissed, "You'll anger the master!"

Latvia laughs, "What master, we're free!"

"Free?" I was frozen in awe "We don't belong to Russia anymore?"

Estonia chuckles, "Russia has become weak, we can leave, he can't stop us!"

I bite my lip, _this was a joke. Russia, weak?_

"Well come on!" Latvia jumps up and down, "Get your stuff ready!"

I nod then enter the room. All of my possessions were back in my country. Everything I owned and loved, Russia had destroyed.

I bend down and my fingers hesitate over a smashed locket. My eyes water as I look at the picture of me and Poland smiling.

"_What is this, __Lietuva?" Russia demanded holding my locket I had hidden under my pillow._

"_I-it's a locket, sir." I stutter._

_He laughs cruelly, "Why is it in your possession?"_

"_Poland gave it to me before we split." I mumble._

_Russia tilts his head back in laughter, "You belong to me now, not Poland. Poland is gone." Russia drops it onto the ground and steps on it._

_Russia smiles, "Lietuva, I expect my tea in five minutes." He strides out happily._

_As soon as he left I held the remains in my hands and wept. Where had those happy times gone?_

I shake my head quickly to try and rid myself of the memory before I couldn't control the tears. I then reach under our bed for my book Russia had torn apart.

It was a book in Lithuanian about chess strategies and logic. I laugh as I grab a separated page.

On the side of the page in ink it read: _Boringgg! Can we go out and play now, Liet?_

I remember that day still.

_I focused on the printed pages and all of the secrets it held. Poland sat next to me on the couch nonchalantly twisting his blond hair around his finger._

_He sighed and snatched the book out of my hands._

"_Hey!" I frown._

"_Hold on!" Poland laughs._

_I cross my arms and try to peek over to see what he was doing, but he concealed it well._

_He handed the book back and looked at me pleadingly._

_I sigh, "Poland! I need to study this now! Also, in about an hour lessons start and-" Poland rips the book out of my grasp and runs out of the door. _

"_Catch me if you can!" He shouts behind him._

"_Poland! That's not fair!" I am laughing now._

_We run around until I finally tug at his collar. _

_He hands the book back over reluctantly and we lean against the wall and slide to a sit. After a few seconds of silence we both burst into breathless laughter. And after our sides hurt we sit there and finally, breathe._

_The warm sun is now setting and Poland's eyes flash open, "Come on, let's go inside now." He tugs at my sleeve._

"_Fine." I smile._

_Poland holds open the glass door for me and as soon as I walk through he runs to the sofa, sits, and motions for me to sit next to him._

_As we sit I find his eyes looking into mine and I stare into his. His beautiful green eyes. Eyes that remind me of grass and summer days, eyes that remind me of happiness. We hold each other's gaze for minutes until Poland launches forward and tickles me. _

"_I declare war on you, Liet!" He laughs._

_I am hardly able to breathe, "A tickle war?"_

"_Of course, I would never hurt you."_

"_Poland! Lithuania! Dinner is waiting!" A distant voice calls._

_Poland gets off of me, sticks his hand out for me to grab._

_Only when after he helps me up, he doesn't let go._

_We both skip to the dining hall._

I smile as I examine the page again. I fold it neatly and tuck it into my pocket.

I stand up slowly and glance around the room, _finally free, huh?_

"Come on, Lithuania!" Latvia calls impatiently.

I take one last look and start for the door, "Coming!"

We now stand outside biding the dark eerie house a farewell.

In the window, I see a dark silhouette, I stare at it and realize, that figure, was Russia.

He steps closer to the window and I can now make out his features.

He is for once, not smiling, in fact, I may sense a bit of sadness in those cold violet eyes. He looks sickly, pale, and he is shaking slightly. His eyes scan all of us with anguish.

"Let's go, Lithuania." Latvia grabs my wrist.

I turn towards Latvia, "One second." I raise my hand to bid Russia a final goodbye, but his figure no longer loomed in the window.

We walk merrily and hum a song we had all wrote one day called, "Peace Sounds Nice." I grimace as I recall Russia interrupting our song.

Estonia and Latvia seem to sense my discomfort and abruptly stop their humming.

The only sound now was of our boots crunching the snow and the soft winds. We were all feeling too anxious to talk. Me most likely the most since my stomach emitted horrible pains.

We finally all come to a halt. Here was the fork in the road where we'd all separate. Where we would go our own ways.

After a few minutes of standing there staring Estonia clears his throat, "I guess this is it."

Latvia nodded his head.

"Yeah." I mumble.

"Promise to call guys?" Latvia grabs my hand and looks at Estonia with desperation.

I smile reassuringly, "Of course."

"Good." Latvia smiled.

First Estonia floats off towards his home then Latvia looks up at me one last time and dispatches.

I find myself all alone standing here.

I turn my head back towards Russia.

_Why was I looking back? I was free!_

I wasn't sure why, but I didn't feel any happiness.

_Why though?_

I wanted to feel angry, but I just couldn't. I wanted to be there by Russia's bedside spooning him hot Borscht and patting his forehead with a cool cloth. He always asked me to sing him a Russian lullaby whenever he was sick and no one else was around.

I shake it out of my head angrily.

_He is the enemy._

I turn around and face my path. The path to what I believe is happiness.

I walk down it and memories are slapping me in the face along with the harsh winds.

"_Poland!" I scream and kick._

_Russia- I believe Poland had said his name was- had a hard grip on my wrist and I couldn't let go. Russia's harsh laughter filled the air._

"_Poland, help!"_

I blink, surprised by the sudden memory.

Then I stop, realizing, I was home.

I look around to see lifeless bodies on scattered everywhere.

I bring my hand up to my mouth and gasp.

"My people." I whisper. "I am so sorry, how could I of let this happen to you?"

I see a snowy bench and I don't even wipe the snow away. I just sit down and cry.

I wanted to blame it on him, but I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. I left them; I should have been here fighting with them. Yet, I was serving tea at Russia's house as they suffered.

"My poor people." I weep.

"Lithuania?" I hear a voice beside me.

I glance up to find my vision was too blurry to see anything. I wipe my eyes and respond shakily, "Yes?"

The man was tall- not as tall as Russia though- he had dirty blond hair, bright blue eyes, and was clad in a tan uniform, and a brown jacket over.

"America?" I whisper, having recognized Russia's rival.

America smiles, "Yeah, that's me."

I sniffle, "If you have business with Mr. Russia, I am no longer working under him."

America's eyes soften, "No, I was just taking a stroll and I saw you here, crying."

I hide my face quickly, "I am _not _ crying, I really am fine, but thank you for being so kind."

America sighs, "What's wrong?"

I look up realizing it was no use to deny my tears, "I-I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, we don't have to." America responds.

I glance at him as he shifts to face his body forward again but he does not get up to leave.

I sigh.

We sit there in silence for a while. I expect America to leave me but he just sits there and stares forward.

I observe him. He was not anything like how Mr. Russia portrayed him. Russia described an obnoxious, cold-blooded killer who had an unsatisfying thirst for blood.

"Aren't you cold?" I mumble.

"Yeah!" he then realizes I wasn't ready for loud conversation yet, "Well, I'm a bit chilly, but it's okay because, when I visit my brother's house it's always freezing."

I nod my head again. "You have a brother?" I had never seen him when Russia forced us along to the world meetings, undoubtedly to show weaker countries what power he had.

America smiles fondly "Yeah, Canada, he's super quiet and shy, but he's really cool when you take the time to talk with him."

"Younger?"

He nods, "Yeah."

I think of Latvia and Estonia and smile.

I find myself easing into a conversation with America and my tears melt away, as the snow does also.

After two hours of conversation I notice the sun is setting. I look down at my fingers and notice how stiff they are.

"I believe I should be getting home now." I sigh. As soon as we stopped talking depression seized my body once again.

"May I please walk you to your house?" America stands up immediately and jerks his hand forward hoping for me to grab it.

I do.

We walk forward past more dead bodies and I find myself crying again. Once or twice we had to stop and America would hold be comfortingly and whisper that "it was okay" and "everything is gonna be alright".

We walk down the cracked sidewalk that had been perfect when I had left. I gazed up to see a broken gate that looked forced down, and past it? My beloved house, gone. Only brick remained. The walls were torn down and everything broken, smashed, ruined.

I was speechless. I backed away and shook my head.

_No, this couldn't be happening._

I backed into America's arms and he held me "Lithuania-"He starts.

I cry again and try to dispatch from him as he grabs me into a strong embrace.

"No! Everything I loved is gone!" I cry.

"Shhh." He whispers into my hair.

"Just go! You don't know what it's like! Ever since you were young you've had freedom, no one to ruin your life, and everything you love."

He steps back in surprise then drops his eyes, "I-I know. I am sorry, I just _want _to understand."

I blink in surprised at my snapping, "America, I am sorry, I-I just-"

"No I am sorry, I really have no idea what you're going through, I can just tell it hurts and I just want to be here for you and stop those tears." He finally raises his eyes.

I give in to his embrace this time.

"Lithuania, you can come to my place, for now, that is, if you'd like."

"America, I-I'd love to." I put a weak smile on my face.

* * *

"Good." He smiles back and takes my arm and steers me away from my childhood, my beautiful home.

America's home is large, much larger than mine- well much larger than it _had _been.

His home was not excessively decorated and his furniture was simple. His home was modest and comfortable.

"Well it's not much, but it is home." America smiles shyly.

"It's wonderful." I smile.

"I am really glad you like it, France always chastises me for it being too boring and bland." America sighs.

"I think you have the best house out of any of the countries." I respond.

His eyes light up, "Really?"

I nod. I suppose it wasn't exactly the furniture but America's house had a warm cheery feeling to it.

America admires the home but then snaps out of it suddenly, "Jeez, you must be beat!"

"Huh?" I step back defensively putting a hand on my back, _had he known?_

"Haha, oh sorry, just something us American's say, it just means tired, sorry if I offended you in any way." America explains, noticing my odd reaction.

I relax my body and sigh with relief, "Ah, I thought you were referring to something else, that's all."

America smiles, "It's fine, come on I'll show you to your room."

America leads me up a fine wooden staircase. Pictures depicting patriotism decorated the walls.

America stops in front of a wooden door and opens it slowly, and flicks the light switch on, "Here you go."

"Thank you, you have been so kind to me Mr. America!" I frown.

"Aw, it's nothing, just forget about it. G'night." He responds quickly.

America shuts the door lightly.

I decide now was the best time to take in my surroundings. I smile noting how it was as modest as the rest of the house.

The bed was a queen with a small wooden frame, and a large blanket covered it showing white stars against a blue back, red and white stripped pillows were propped up and ready to be laid upon. There was a nightstand next to the bed with a comic book lying on it. I pick it up and smile, "_Captain America's great adventure for justice!"_ I lie it back down and look around more. There was a television set on a stand directly in front of the bed. I was surprised, I had never seen television. It had just barely been invented by the British.

_I remember Russia storming in the house with the newspaper, "Damn it! Eyebrows has just invented something great."_

"_M-more tea sir?" I shake._

_He waves me off, _

"_I am just glad it wasn't that idiot, America." He scowls._

I sigh, _I must not think of him._

I flick the light off and lie down on the abnormally huge bed. I had never had such a warm and big blanket. In Russia's house, we had old rags that had once been Russia's baby blankets that Ukraine had knitted so long ago.

My eyelids grow heavy quick.

The last thing that I thought before I drift off was, _I am finally free._

"


	8. Marriage

**OKAY EVERYONE. You guys want Poland. I will eventually bring Poland back. Not yet, though. Instead what about a flashback chapter? Okay, let's just say this was the "lost pages" or something. I don't know. Parts of this are based off of the episodes.**

I look up with shame as my grand duke rants. I try to pay attention, but I have heard the same speech so often I can recite it. How weak I am compared to the other strong European powers, how I get beat up so easily, how we need a plan.

"Who was it this time?" He sighs and presses his fingers to his forehead.

"Teutonic knight." I mumble.

"Of course." He growls, his eyes suddenly become full of scorn.

When I raise my eyes I can't help but grimace as my fresh bruises reminded me of their presence.

"I have come up with a plan." He strokes his beard.

"Really? So we can beat the stupid Teutonic knights?" I perk up, if there was any way to defeat that cocky loser, I'd go for it.

"Maybe." He furrows his brow and continues to think.

"Do tell!" my eyes are widening in anticipation.

"I am going to get married." He replies.

"What? That is a big commitment." I frown. I did not want to be bound to another nation.

"Taip." He stares off and thinks.

"To what country, sir?"

"Poland. He is very strong, Lietuva."

I nod. Why must we do this? I did not want to. Did I even have a say in this?

"When is the marriage to be?" My voice has become surprisingly weak.

"If my proposal is accepted, I plan on in two weeks."

I nod, "May I be excused."

"Taip, but we will need to discuss matters over dinner."

I do not respond but I turn and dash up the crimson-carpeted stair case. I open my door hastily and shut it with anger. I launch myself onto my bed and bury my face in a pillow. A pain stabs my head. I growl as I rip an arrow from my hair.

_One day I will defeat the stupid Teutonic knights._

But what if I don't? What if Poland decides to take total control over me and my army?

_What was Poland like?_

I had never met him, but only heard rumors. Those rumors were enough to make me burst out laughing until I was faced with actual having to meet this man.

_No! I must stay optimistic._

I sit up briskly and use my sleeve to wipe my tears away. I clutch my pillow close to my chest and sigh. I had a few bruises that hurt, but it wasn't too much. I didn't need to marry another nation.

_Poland could be very nice and become a very good friend._

I smile at the thought of a new friend.

_Or a complete psychopath weirdo._

I frown, I need to get rid of these pessimistic thoughts.

I grab a book and flip to a random page. Maybe reading will distract me. I cannot focus on the small black print, or the words it formed. Only on my thoughts.

"vakarienė." Someone knocked on my door.

"I will be right down." I sigh and toss my book across the room. I fold my arms and glare at it. I couldn't do it. I rush across the room and grab my book and close it neatly onto my bookshelf.

"Damn you, stupid book." I sigh with defeat.

As I walk towards my door, I move very slowly. I was not at all looking forward to the upcoming conversation.

* * *

Two guards clad in armor opened the heavy wooden doors for me and my grand duke. I pray they open the doors slower. I feel like I am walking into a trap.

The room we walked into was richly furnished, the floor was polished nicely, the walls held a interesting design, but lie dead ahead made my stomach ache.

There, sitting on the throne, was who I assumed to be Poland.

He was around the same height as me, with shoulder-length blond hair, sparkling light green eyes, and an almost amused expression.

I find myself shaking in fear as I walk closer. When I halt in front of him his expression changes to that of one contemplating the worth of something small and insignificant.

"Ah yes, I've heard of you before. Thank you for traveling all this way." He continues to examine me as I shake like a tiny animal at the mercy of a hunter, "I am Poland, the commander of Eastern Europe and whatnot."

"Y-yes sir!" I stammer and continue to shake, "Y-you can call me-" I sigh and shut my eyes. I am not here to look weak. I am here to make an alliance. I am Lithuania. I open my eyes and raise my head feeling much more confident, "I am known as Lithuania. I have come here to discuss the marriage between our grand duke, and you sovereign queen, lady."

He stops playing with his hair and brings his hand to cup over his chin, "Yes, I am sure we both can benefit from this marriage." His general seemed very relieved.

"But, how should I put this?" His general and his queen become very surprised and worried, it seems.

"Show me your junk and stuff." Poland smiles.

"W-what?" I stammer and resume my shaking.

"Polska, you are freaking her out!" His general growls.

* * *

I run the damp washcloth over my face again. I did not want to join them for the wedding, at all. I should be happy. I should be rejoicing in the unification of our two countries, but I felt I couldn't. I stand in the mirror and twirl around a little bit. I wore a new dress that I actually enjoyed. It was elaborate, and it swept the floor gracefully, it was as white as snow with red accents, pearl buttons, and it was sure to stand out. I might enjoy it more if I hadn't been forced to wear it.

"_It will represent our unification, Lietuva!" He jerks the wooden box into my hands._

"_I refuse to wear it! Why can't I wear my own flag colors?" I jerk the box back._

"_Why must you be so stubborn. Lietuva!" He pushes the box back._

"_I expect Poland to be wearing my colors, then." I cross my arms._

He had of course won. I grudgingly look at my appearance. My hair was swept up nicely, I wore a pearl necklace, but I also wore a frown. _Why must I do this?_

A harsh knock filled the room, "Lietuva! You are expected down soon!"'

"Okay, okay." I take one last glance and start towards the door.

The hallway was empty when I walked into it. I assumed everyone was long gone to the ball room. I grasp the stair rail for support as I walk down it. I took small steps toward the room. When I finally reached the room, no one noticed me. Everyone was dancing merrily. I sigh and lean against the wall.

"You are late." I open my eyes to see Poland leaning against the wall, too.

"I-I am sorry, I was busy getting ready." I find myself stuttering again.

He nods, "I like the colors."

"Thank you." I whisper.

"Are you like super excited to become one with me?"

"I suppose." I shrug.

"You suppose?" Poland whimpers.

"S-sorry, I-I meant, yes, I am very grateful for this arrangement." I choose my words carefully.

He narrows his eyes, "Fine, I forgive you."

There was a period of silence that didn't last as long as I had hoped it would.

"Well, my queen seems happy, so that's all that matters." He shrugs.

I nod in agreement," Yes, my grand duke seems very content, also." _Too content_ part of me thinks angrily.

Poland adjusts his cloak, "I really hate this stupid formal wear, I want to dress in something super comfy!"

"Yes, that would be very nice." I agree but I couldn't imagine wearing anything other than what I am commanded to such a big event. I laugh as I try to picture my grand duke's reaction.

"Hey what's so funny?" He frowns.

"Oh, nothing." I smile.

"Fine." He crosses his arms again.

He shifts with agitation then walks away.

I chuckle, I knew he would get too bored with me. I walk over to the window and gaze out. Poland was very beautiful. Well, the location, not Poland… How do I explain this?

It was early spring and the grass had a light coat of rain. I shut my eyes and wish I was outside and free.

"You close your eyes a lot." I open my eyes to find it was Poland who had spoken.

"I thought you were leaving." I jump in surprise.

He laughs, "No. I got some Polish snacks for us!" He pushes the bowl towards me.

I grab one reluctantly.

"Try it! It is so good!" He chomps on another one.

I stick it into my mouth.

"How is it? It's totally the best, huh?"

"It's okay." I shrug.

Poland gazes out the window, too.

"Man, I wanna go out and play!" He wails.

"Play?" I had never played outside.

"Totally! We could play a lot of stuff!" He jumps up and down in excitement.

"Like what?" I was now interested.

"Here! Let's make a list of stuff we can do later!" Poland grabs a napkin and starts to write on it, "_Poland and Lithuania's list of fun stuff to do outside when it isn't raining and we're not totally stuck inside for some stupid wedding" _

"Okay here." Poland lies the napkin down.

I open my mouth but Poland is quicker, "Tag!"

"Chess?" I suggest.

"What? Why would you want to play that?" He actually looks perplexed.

I shake my head to signify never mind.

"Hopscotch!" He declares.

"Water fight!" He continues to come up with games I have never heard of.

Suddenly we hear a _ding ding._ My grand duke tapped on a glass with his spoon.

I tried to listen to his speech but I could not hear over "_Psst, Lithuania!"_ every five seconds.

While Poland continued to chatter in a hushed tone, I hadn't even realized that they had sealed their marriage.

"Perhaps to celebrate, we should have Polska and Lietuva to share a dance?" Poland's queen recommended. I could understand why my grand duke was so giddy lately. She was very pretty with her long blond hair and cheerful green eyes.

Poland groaned and looked at his queen with annoyance. She ignored his look.

"What a fantastic idea, darling." My grand duke smiled.

I feel my cheeks turn red.

Poland offers me his hand as the music strikes up.

"You wore a bit of rouge today, huh?" Poland examines my face.

I feel myself turn more red, "No."

"Haha! Your face looks so funny right now!" He laughs.

"R-really?" I frown.

"No, in a good way. You look like a cute little apple or something." He responds.

Desperate to change the subject I open my mouth, "How long is this dance?"

"About ten minutes, I suppose." He shrugs.

I look around to see everyone in the room watching us. I tilt my head downward hoping no one saw my obvious embarrassment.

"So, like want to play tomorrow, if the weather is nice?" Poland was also desperate to break the awkwardness.

"S-sure, if-if you want."

* * *

The night seemed to drag on. Now when I walked up the stairs I started to feel relieved. Poland insisted on walking me to my bedroom, in case I forgot where it was.

"Night, my shakey friend." Poland waved as he walked away.

"Goodnight." I whisper back.

My room was dark and lonely. There were no pictures hanging, no hearth, no warmth. I felt cold in this room. I miss my old room.

I shake off the sadness and climb into my new bed.

_Maybe me and Poland will become friends, afterall. _


	9. Ever-lasting Summer

**Here are just some random parts of Lithuania and Poland's childhood together**

Poland and I sat together peacefully in a swaying meadow. We had been getting closer and the awkwardness was starting to fade. Due to it being a warm day, both Poland and I were in good spirits.

"Hey," Poland nudges me.

"What?" I take my attention off of my content thoughts and turn towards him.

"Do you have any interesting stories about your capital?" Poland switches his gaze to the blue- cloudless sky.

"Huh?" I was a bit confused.

"What? I think if I ask you something interesting it is a good way to hear something interesting. You know? It's a technique I have mastered." He winks and faces his body towards me.

"Hmm, I don't know," I turn towards him also, "You tell me a story first and I will think of one."

He looks startled, "Did you just call me you?"

I jump in surprise, "Uh yes, is that um wrong? What would you like me to call you?" I widen my eyes in fear, _already he probably doesn't like me._

He smiles brightly and jumps up, "I think you should call me "Poland the powerful" or "Sir Polski" or you could just call me "Pol"."

"O-okay, I'll call you Pol. And well you don't have to address me so formally, either."

Poland smirks and turns a light shade of pink, "I've always wanted to call you Liet, b-but only because that is shortened for Lietuva… and er that's how you say it there, in um Lithuania, right?"

"Right. That sounds good to me." I smile back, "So, well you were going to tell me a story, Pol?"

"Oh yeah, an interesting story about my capital, right?" His face returns to its normal coloring.

I nod.

Poland goes on and tells me a dashing story of a mortifying dragon in a cave, a wise prince, and swords. I muse on how it sounds much more like a comedy to me. I then remember my own capital story. I go on and tell it. When I finish I look over to find Poland rocking on him back.

"Er- what are you doing? I don't understand." I look at him with awe.

"Oh, I was wondering if I could do this. Guess what? I can! Check out my mad skill." His voice is strained.

"Well um did you hear my story?"

"Yeah, of course! Just forgot to listen a little bit." He laughs.

_I wonder if this is going to work out._

* * *

Even though Poland and I have a very odd relationship, I have found that I have never had more fun! I love to run around with him and laugh. It feels so odd to feel so happy. I don't really fight much anymore. I remember before, I was constantly at war with everyone, now I am at ease and in peace. I-I really like living with Poland.

"Hey, Liet." Poland turns his head to me as we lie on the ground exasperated from a game of tag.

"Hm?" I tilt my head to the side.

"Do you like it here- I mean with me." His green eyes match the grass and the blue sky reflects his clothing.

"Y-yes of course. Why do you ask?"

"Well, sometimes I feel you think I'm a weirdo. I mean, I can totally understand that, though," He chuckles, "Can I tell you a small tiny secret?"

I nod.

"Swear you will never tell anyone of this!"

I place my finger over my lips and use my other hand to cross over my heart. Poland observes and nods his head contently.

"You are my first real friend."

"Really?" I meet his eyes with surprise.

"Shh! Yes, I know it is very hard to believe, but I-I just never had so much fun with someone!"

"Me neither!" I giggle.

"We will always be best friends, nothing can tear us apart, okay Liet?" Poland hops up and makes his way over to a tree.

I nod and join him.

Poland bends down and grabs a sharp stick from the ground. He begins to carve into the tree that was in front of us. I try to read what he is carving but he jerks in the way every time I shift to get a better view.

"There!" He declares and takes a step back. The tree read "_Pol and Liet forever!"_

I laugh but then he turns to me with seriousness glinting in his eyes, "Nothing will ever tear us apart, right?"

I grab his hand, "Of course not! Well not by my free will, of course."

"I would fight for you, Liet." He squeezes my hand then let go and ran off.

"Pol, wait!" I yell and run after him.

* * *

Diary,

Every day is like summer here. I enjoy reading my previous entries to relive these happy moments. Even though the winter frost is slowly creeping up, as soon as I ready what I have already written, I feel sunshine and warmth. At the same time, I feel sadness come at random. Sometimes when Poland and I are playing, my smile will suddenly disappear and I will ask to retire to my room. I try to keep myself composed until I am alone. This is hardly sadness, though. I know I am happy. I shouldn't be over reacting. I have everything here, a friend, happiness, and I am safe.

"Liet?" I feel Poland lay his hand on my arm.

"Yes?" I turn around and smile.

He sighs with relief, "I am glad you are okay. Hm what's that?" Poland grabs for my diary.

I blush, "I-It's nothing!" I jump away.

He giggles, "Fine, but come play with me." He tugs on my arm.

"I can't now." I respond and jerk my arm away.

He shows a hurt look, "Why?"

"I-I need time to be alone and think."

He looks at me with confusion, "Why would you choose to be alone over being with someone?"

I suppose I was a bit of an introvert but at the same time, I need time to regain my thoughts and take a mental rest.

"I just… Have a headache." I knew he would never understand.

He smiles sympathetically, "C'mon, lie down, then. I'll get you some water." His voice has become hushed.

"N-no really, I'm fine. You just go and play, maybe I'll come out in a little."

"Alright, I guess I'll be all by myself like how it used to be. Just don't think too much, okay?" He looks into my eyes with concern and when I nod his eyes fill with relief and he disappears.

I sigh and sit back down and continue to write.

Poland, Poland. I am at loss for words. My best friend. Not just an ally. That felt nice to just say my best friend. He was not just here to help me during war, right? What if he was? What if Poland didn't actually care about me? I clutch my stomach as pains start to come. I am too worried, Poland even said he would fight for me. I feel so anxious and scared, a lot. I guess I'm just not used to being so close to someone and I feel my heart changing. It felt warmer and I felt more at ease.

"LIET!" I hear a scream.

"Pol?" I frown. The shriek of my name came again.

"Pol, I'm coming! Stay where you are! Pol, do you hear me?" I yell and dash out of the room and the carpet in the hallway slides under my feet. I run out of the door and glance around frantically.

"LIET!" Poland grabs me into a hug.

"POLAND! YOU'RE OKAY!" I sigh with relief.

"Of course!" He giggles.

"You scared me. Why were you yelling like that anyway?"

He jerks his palm out as a white flake lands on it, "It's snowing!"

"That's why? Because it's snowing?"

"Of course! If it keeps going like this, tomorrow we can make snow angels!"

I smile, "And snowmen!"

"Yeah! And I can get it some nice clothes, too!" He jumps with excitement.

We both stick out our tongues and let the flakes fall onto it.

Poland takes interest in his breath and the white air coming out, "Liet look! I'm a dragon!"

I laugh, "Me too!"

"Rawr!" He growls and starts to chase me.

I run away and make dragon noises, also. I climb up a tree and stick my tongue out at him.

He crosses his arms, "No fair! I can't do that!"

"Fly up. If you were a real dragon you could."

He pouts, "I will get up there!"

"Try!"

"Fine!" He observes the trunk and branches and he makes an attempt. He falls onto his behind and I giggle. After a while of watching him I fall asleep.

When I open my eyes it was dark. My fingers were numb and shaking, my nose was dripping, and my arms were masked in goose bumps. I curse inwardly for not grabbing a coat or proper winter attire due to my worrying over Pol. Poland had just left me. I felt icy tears slip from my eyes. I bury my fingers into my shirt and press my chin to my chest. I will freeze to death. I shut my eyes and find myself asleep again.

* * *

"Liet?" I open my eyes slowly to see Poland hovering over me with a worried look.

"Pol?" I whisper.

He grabs me into a hug, "I-I'm so glad you're okay."

I shiver and pull the heavy blanket closer.

"Sorry." He murmurs .

"It's okay." I whisper and cuddle with the wool.

"Here." He presses a spoon to my lips. I open and taste a hot broth.

"I'm not hungry." I pull away the best I could.

"It'll make you feel better!" He protested.

In the end I gave in and let Poland feed all of it to me.

"I-I'm really sorry, Liet!" Tears start to form in his eyes.

"Shhh, it's really fine."

"No it's not! What if you died, Liet?" He growls.

I push a blond lock away from his eyes, "I didn't."

"How can I promise to protect you if I can't even keep you safe?" He looks angrily at a mirror.

"I am fine, Poland! Besides I shouldn't have climbed up that when you couldn't get up there."

"I tried but then when I noticed you were asleep I went inside to get help or a ladder but I forgot!" He places his face into his palms.

I sneeze and cough. "See, now you're sick, too!" He points at me sadly.

"It'll go away."

He shrugs, "I guess so."

"I won't always be sick, it doesn't last forever. Well- at least not long enough to be pondering over it." I point out.

"Fine- you win this time. But next time, I think I will jump in a well never to be seen again."

"Poland! Don't say stuff like that!"

"Why? I am idiotic to the point where I should disappear and not hurt you anymore."

"I would be so lonely! And no one would be there to fight for me."

A small and sad smile touches his face, "Fine."

I yawn and sit up.

"Don't do that!" He scolds.

"Why?" I frown.

"Because you need to rest! Jeez."

"Fine." I sink back down and watch the hearth flicker.

Poland slips his fingers into mine and I don't protest. After a few seconds I feel his head touch the same pillow I rested on and I hear soft snoring.

I smile, "Labanakt, Pol."


	10. Take good care

I lazily open my eyes to find myself in a large warm bed. It had been this way for weeks. I still woke up every morning to be surprised and a sudden feeling of happiness surged through me. I sit up, yawn, and stretch. My eyes find the clock that hung on the wall; it read 8:01 am.

I smile, _perfect timing._ My legs waver under me and I grab onto the dark wooden dresser for support. I open a drawer to fish for clothing. I loved the clothing America had provided for me. I smile as I hold up a pair of jeans and a regular t-shirt. I shrug off my night gown and hum as I dress myself in the unusual casual clothing. I frown as other thoughts came, _At Russia's it was rags or a humiliating maid's dress. _I shake my head and force a smile. I was at America's house now! I needn't worry about _him._ I dash down the nicely polished wooden stairs and pull on a red, white, and blue apron. I tap my chin as I wonder what to make for America's breakfast. I knew that America didn't mind what I made, yet at Russia's if it wasn't what he wanted there would be a punishment. I shiver at the thought of being punished. _America's not like that, though!_ I smile and reach up into the cabinet for waffle mix. I grab a large bowl and start to whisk. I hurry to start the coffee. I glance at the clock that read 8:45 A.M. On weekends America slept in until about 4 P.M. Today he should wake up at about… Now until 9:00. I sigh with relief, good thing it was almost done. I hurry and set the table with the appropriate condiments, such as the butter America loved to smother on, and the maple syrup his younger brother had gifted to him for his birthday.

Suddenly I hear footsteps above me. America was waking. I get a large plate and put the waffles on and I set it neatly on the table. I then hurry to attend to the coffee.

"Morning, Lithuania." Yawns America as he trudges down the stairs.

"Good morning, sir." I chirp.

"Hey, enough with the sir stuff, I said America!" America chuckles.

"O-okay, sorry s- America." I catch myself.

"Much better." America smiles and takes a seat at the table.

"I made waffles!" I announce happily.

"Oh man, these look delicious." America admires the stack of waffles.

"Will Tony be joining us, sir?"

"What did I say?" America frowns and I cringe by accident.

"Huh?" America looks surprised at my reaction.

"S-sorry Mister America, I-I'll make sure not to say it ever again."

"H-hey relax, if it really makes you comfortable, it's fine with me. But please don't be scared of me." America's eyes are full of compassion and worry.

"O-okay, I-I really didn't mean to react that way." I stare at my feet.

America breaks the silence, "Tony is waaay too hung over to wake up." America laughs and I manage a smile.

America starts to tear into his waffles when he suddenly looks up, "What's wrong?"

"Huh? N-nothing! Wait is there? I-I'm not sure." I jump in surprise.

"Why aren't you eating?" America frowns.

"W-w-why would I eat with you?"

"Because, you are my guest. I think it's rude to just let someone watch you eat." America pats the seat next to him.

I sit down, "O-of course Mister America."

America smiles contently and continues to dig into his waffles.

"Oh I almost forgot!" I jump up and hurry into the kitchen. I come back into the dining room with America's morning cup of coffee.

"Ah, thank you Lithuania, my cup of joe." America chuckles as he takes the mug from my hands. He takes a long sip and then pulls away, "Ahh, much better!"

America finishes his meal quick and grabs his plate and walks to the sink.

"N-no wait, sir! I've got it!" I take the plate from his hands before he could object.

"Lithuania, I can do it myself. I am not in able to carry my own dish to the sink." America frowns.

"I-I know sir, but as your slave-" I start.

"Slave? Lithuania, you don't really feel that way, do you?" America's eyes are filled with sadness.

"N-no of course not-"

"I don't want you to _ever_ feel that way in my home. Understand?" America tilts my chin up and when I nod, he shows a content look and takes the plate from my hands.

* * *

America sits in his study room now and he busies himself with the world's affairs. I attend to a hung over Tony.

Tony starts to curse some nonsense in his native tongue.

"Tony sit up." I tell him as I sit at his bedside. He listens and props himself up. He releases a groan and presses his hand to his forehead.

"Here, this will make you feel better." I offer him a glass of water and a painkiller.

He takes it and downs it all in seconds. He groans for more.

"F-fine, but you can't overdose, o-okay?" I fumble for the bottle and I pour another one into my palm to hand to Tony. This time he swallows it without the water. He then reaches out his hand to signify more.

"Tony." I plead.

"More." He responds.

I hand him 2 more and his palm is reaching out again.

"Haha, he usually needs two whole bottles of painkillers for his headaches to go away."

I jump and look behind me to find America leaning in the doorway.

"Mister America! Shouldn't you be working?" I frown.

"I s'pose, but I've never been known for doing anything I should." America chuckles.

I smile back, "Still, it's fine. I'm here to attend to Tony."

America gives a worried look, "Fine, but putting on Iron Man usual does the trick." Tony nods in agreement.

"Okay." I laugh, "But first we need to get another bottle of painkillers."

"Oh, right here!" America reaches into his coat to pull out another bottle.

"You just keep pills in your coat?"

"Yeah! Of course, what if I crashed at Iggy's house and he ran out?" America laughs as though it is obvious.

I smile and nod.

"Oh yeah, I guess I should be going back to my work, see you guys for lunch!" The American disappears from the doorway.

After giving Tony all of the painkillers he required I put on Iron Man and Tony started to cheer.

"Go Tony Stark!" Tony jumps up and down.

When Iron Man is over, Tony demands I replay it, so I do. By the time the replay is over, Tony is feeling much better.

I hurry to the kitchen, throw my apron on, and begin the grilled- cheese sandwiches Tony had requested.

By the time it is finished America is gripping onto the rail dramatically and coming down the stairs.

"Need- break." America groans.

Me and Tony laugh.

"Grilled- cheese?" America's eyes light up, "Jeez Lithuania, you sure know how to cheer someone up." America sits down and digs in hungrily.

Tony and I eat, too.

"This is good!" Tony points at the sandwich.

"Thanks Tony." I smile.

"So T, how many times did you have to watch Iron Man?"

"Two." Tony responds and sticks up two fingers.

"Only two?" America stares with disbelief, "Usually it takes _a lot _more."

"Yep." Tony responds and reaches for another sandwich.

* * *

The night ended well as we all took a walk to visit America's whale friend who took quite a liking to me. In fact, the whale dragged me into the water and America had to get towels. America apologized and guessed it was because I had given it coffee, which the whale loves.

Now I'm back in bed and writing. America's house is the first time I've felt happy since when I was with Poland.

_Poland_. I shut my eyes hard to prevent tears. I hadn't seen my best friend in years. Russia never allowed visitors, especially people he hated. I don't think I will ever be able to understand it. Why Russia seemed to hate Poland with such a passion. Where every time I mentioned my friend, rage would fill those violet eyes. No one really knew Poland, like I knew him, though. As I continue to think of my blond friend, I drift off into sleep.

"_I have won." A man smiled above me triumphantly._

_I clutch onto Poland even firmer._

"_Little Litva is finally mine!" The tall man dances around with happiness._

"_Polski." I whisper and shake Poland's arm. He does not wake._

"_Polski!" I plead again._

_This time I caught the man's attention._

_He bent down and smiled at me. "Privyet."_

_I shudder and scoot closer to my unresponsive friend._

"_You know I have won, right?" Those eyes… seem so familiar._

_I clamp my eyes shut "No!"_

_He laughs harshly, "Da."_

"_Polski!" My screams are lost in the wind._

"_Litva," the man bends down even further to whisper in my ear, "I like you, so you can come stay at my house." He pulls back and grins._

_I was about to scream 'No!' When he picked me up into his massive arms and laughed, "That was a joke, I own you now, you do whatever I say because you are my slave and I am your master."_

"_Polski!" I fight the best I could, but the man's grip was too strong._

_Poland lifts his head weakly and smiles, "Your face looks hilarious right now!" Poland goes into a fit of laughter then drops his head back into the snow._

"_Poland, no! Help me!" The man gets irritated and presses a gloved hand to my mouth so I could not speak. I feel myself drifting away…_

I wake up screaming. _I HATE POLAND! _I press a pillow to my face angrily.

"Who the fuck is in here?" America breaks down the door and waves around his baseball bat frantically. Tony follows close behind with an AK-47.

"Mister America! I'm sorry! I r-really didn't mean to wake you, I just had a nightmare, that's all."

America sighed with relief and lowered his bat, "False alarm, we're clear."

Tony salutes and marches out of the room.

America observes me a little bit closer and his eyes widen in surprise, "Oh god, you-you're crying." America drops the bat and sits on the edge of my bed.

"N-no it-it's nothing." I jerk away as he attempts to wipe the tears. America forcefully grabs my face and wipes the tears away.

"Will you tell me what the dream was about?" America looks into my eyes and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear.

"It-it really doesn't matter." I respond shyly and look down.

"Please." America whispers.

"I-I don't know…"

"When I was little, I used to tell Iggy about all of my bad dreams, and it really helped."

"What did he do when you told him?"

"Haha, well you know England, he gave me a reality check," America then faked a British accent, "Ghosts aren't real for the last time, America! Only unicorns and mint bunnies are!"

I giggle.

"So will you please tell me?" America goes back to looking serious.

"O-of course."

I look down at my hands for a while, then I answer, "I had a dream of when me and Poland split."

"Wow, was it that bad?" America furrows his brow.

"Well, n-no. That's not what the nightmare was about?"

"Oh well what was the scary part?"

"When R-Russia came and t-took me away from him."

America was shocked to hear about Russia, "You hate him don't you?"

"I-I want to." I respond shakily.

"Huh? You should hate him with every part of you."

"I-I know, I just c-can't."

America gives me a pitying look and strokes my cheek, "Want me to sleep in here tonight?"

"T-that would be v-very nice." I blush, but you couldn't tell in the darkness.

America smiles and adjusts himself next to me on the bed. I feel as though I should attempt to make conversation and make this situation slightly less awkward, but in seconds I hear America's soft snoring.

I smile and close my eyes. I had only happy dreams of warmth and sun that night.

* * *

It has been quite a while since I have last wrote but I think I should write of today's events:

America and I lounged on his couch and listened to the radio's jazz music. Tony was snoring away and America hummed to the tunes, as he knew every one of them. Suddenly there was a knock. The knock was hard and nervous, it seemed ominous.

"Here you, stay here, I'll get it." America smiled and dashed to the next room.

America came back looking a bit grave.

"Everything all right America-san?" I frown.

"Yeah, everything's fine, ya know just some private business."

"Oh, okay." I smile up at him.

"Lithuania, could you please go to your room." America finally mustered.

"H-huh why?"

"Like I said, private business." Looking closer I noticed a few things. There was a glint of anger in America's eyes, his fists were clenched, and he was now being serious.

"O-Okay, sir." This time he does not object to the title.

I dash up the stairs and open my door and close it very loudly, yet I stand outside my door. I get on my hands and knees and crawl. The rail had pieces of wood supporting it that I stared through the gap between the pieces. I felt guilty, though. Perhaps I shouldn't be spying on America-san. Before my conscience forces me back I see America sigh and open the door again. I snap my hand to my mouth in order to suppress a gasp. _Russia._

"What the hell do _you_ want commie?" America spats.

"I just want to talk." Russia responds without any emotion in his voice.

"Fine, but make this quick."

America shuts the door behind Russia and they stand and stare at each other for a while.

"You aren't going to get to see her, if that's why you came." America snarls. It took a while but I finally registered that _her_ was _me._

"N-no, I didn't think I would be able to anyway." Russia stares at his feet bashfully.

"So?" America taps his foot impatiently.

"I-I just- Take good care of her. S-she hardly complains and she holds in all of her pain. S-she is never selfish and she always puts others before herself."

America stands there dumbfounded, as do I. _That is the first time Russia has ever said anything nice about me._

Russia hurries to the door and opens it. Although he pauses for a second, "Just watch over her well, she is my ex after all." Then Russia disappears.

_EX?! _My thoughts are interrupted as America turns to walk up the stairs. I hurry into my room and jump onto my bed and grab the closest comic book.

America walks in and his expression is still rather surprised, "So- um- Lithuania." America straightens his voice.

"Y-yes?" I respond shakily. _He would tell me now about Russia._

"Er- whatcha readin?" America peers over.

My heart drops, _He really wasn't planning on telling me?_ "Oh n-nothing j-j-just t-this c-comic-"

"Why are you stuttering so much again?" America frowns.

"I-I a-am s-s-sorry, I-I-" America stops me.

"Did something happen? You are shaking." America walks over and pulls me into an embrace.

I couldn't let him know of my eavesdropping, "I-It's just t-that er- Loki is misunderstood!"

America pulls away and chuckles. He turns toward the door and opens it but then turns around, "Most villains are." America then walks away.

* * *

Today was going terrific, it was 4:26 P.M. and Tony and I played video games while America was finishing off his last bit of work for the day. I had, of course, made sure all off my chores were finished of course, I even visited the whale and gave him his daily coffee and we played for a bit (Until Tony became jealous and beamed me up into his spaceship). Tony always won in the games, nonetheless it was a lot of fun.

"Hey guys!" America smiles as he enters the room.

Tony hardly grunted (as he was too busy in the game) while I gave a cheery hello.

America crept up behind the couch, took my controller, and placed his finger over his lips.

Tony jumped in amazement at how he had just been killed 15 times in 20 seconds, "Lithuania?"

America and I laugh as America reveals that he had been playing for me.

"So you guys wanna watch scary movies 'till really late?" America jumped up and down with excitement.

"Lemme reach a checkpoint." Tony responded.

"Sure!" I smile. No horror could be worse than… _No, I can't think of such depressing things! I have been safe at America-sans house for years. Nothing bad could happen._

"Dude! Hurry up." America whined.

Apparently since Tony was taking too long, America reached forward and grabbed the controller. Two quick hits of the buttons and the screen read "_You have defeated this stage and earned bonus points!"_

Tony snatched it back and muttered, "Showoff."

The first horror movie that America had popped in was not scary at all.

The antagonist was a vampire who went around sucking blood, yet America buried his head into a pillow.

The second movie wasn't scary, either.

It showed witches smiling and whispering creepy things while flying with a broom stick.

The last one we watched, was slightly scarier, but to America, it was the worst horror ever.

Ghosts came at random and killed innocent cowboys.

"No! D-don't go in t-there! GAH I TOLD YOU!" America threw popcorn at the screen angrily.

Tony was also cowering under a blanket while holding firmly onto my arm.

I sigh, _they are such babies._ This thought made me smile, though.

When the movie was over Tony rushed to turn the lights on.

"T-that was pure terror." America waves a shaking finger at the lifeless television.

I chuckle and clean up the stray pieces of popcorn. America rocked slowly back and forth.

After I had finished cleaning I climbed into bed with relief. I was quite tired. Suddenly I hear a knock at the door.

"Yes?" I yawn.

The door opens to reveal a trembling America, "W-will you p-please come and s-sleep with me t-tonight?"

"Sure." I smile and follow him down the hallway. All of the lights were turned on.

"America, we should turn these off to save money!"

"N-no way! Money won't even matter once I'm dead, anyway."

I chuckle and open the door to his room.

America runs to his bed (as if someone is chasing him and he will be safe there) I lie next to him sleepily.

America, however, was wide awake in fear. We talked for a while. He confided about his younger years with Britain and I confide about my younger years with Poland. America and I seem to chat for at least an hour and a half when America turns to face me and then suddenly he blushes wildly and snaps his body back the other way.

"America-san, are you okay?" I lay my hand on his shoulder.

He jumps at my touch and blushes even more, "Y-yeah, of course."

He starts to squirm and I worry more.

I touch his cheek, causing him to inhale sharply, "L-lithuania, s-stop!"

"What?" I ask with surprise.

"D-doing that!" He crosses his arms.

"Doing what, I am just trying to comfort you."

"O-okay, it's just- just that you are having a weird effect over me."

"Like what?" I frown.

"L-like- I don't know! How the heck do I explain it?"

I sit up and look at him with concern.

He stares up at me for a while then pulls me into a kiss. At first I am surprised, but in the end I give in. More kissing, even more passionately than before.

America starts to pull down my night gown but then stops and stared in disbelief.

"A-America-san? W-what's wrong?" I widen my eyes.

America traced the scars on my back, "H-he did this to you?" America whispers.

"W-what?"

America growls and gently pushes me off of him. He stood up angrily, "THAT BASTARD DID THAT TO YOU?"

"W-what? No America it's okay-"

"No it is not fucking _okay."_ America starts to pace.

"It's all over with now, who cares?" I shrug.

"I will fucking go to his house and kill that sick son-of-a bitch with my bare hands." America growls.

"N-no America, don't please." I plead.

"Why? No one deserves to be treated like that. Do all of his servants have that?"

"N-no, only me." I mumble.

"See! How the fuck can he go on and on about how great you are then do this?"

"He said something great about me?" Finally America admitted it.

"Shh- nevermind, forget what I said. America lied back down and cradled me in his arms.

I feel somewhat angry that he wouldn't tell me of Russia's visit, but I do not attempt to escape his hold.

America begins to stroke my hair and hum a quiet song.

"Goodnight, my dear Lithuania." America whispers.

I fall asleep to his humming and my dream is not at all pleasant. I try to fight, to come back to reality, but it is no use. I see Russia's horrible grin. _He _is the one cradling me. He wipes away my tears with his cold fingers.

"_Goodnight my little Litva! Soon you shall be mine again!"_


	11. Inevitable

Immediately from the moment I climbed down the stairs, I could tell there was something wrong.

America sat on the sofa and when he saw me he put on a tight smile, "Sleep well?"

"Y-yes thank you." I respond warily, "Would you like me to make breakfast?"

"N-no! I mean, I actually made some already. I was thinking you could take a day off and just spend time with me." He looks down, for some reason he was not able to meet my curious gaze.

"Okay, if you say so, America-san."

He smiles sadly and stands, "Good."

I follow him to the kitchen where I find my favorite breakfast food, blynai_**.**_ His arms shake slightly as he smacks the food onto a plate. I almost feared he would drop it.

"Mr. America, surely I can serve myself-" I step forward.

He moves back and holds the plate out of reach, "N-no! Just let me do it, o-okay?"

"S-sure." I step back. _Why is he acting like this?_

America walks into the dining room and sets the plate down. He pulls out a chair and gestures for me to sit. I sit down but my wariness does not go away. As I start to eat he watches me intently with a unmistakable sadness in his blue eyes.  
I push the plate away with agitation, "I'm not hungry."

America frowns, "Yes you are."

"No I am not." I insist.

"Please eat." He pleads and pushes the plate towards me.

"Fine." I relent and continue to eat, but slower.

I try to focus on anything but his doleful expression. The fork had intricate designs lining it and it shines a unique silver color when I tilt it into the light. The fork made me bored so my eyes drift to the plate. It was a plastic plate with the avengers on it. The characters were hardly distinguishable under the syrup that covered them. I gently push away the syrup from their faces. First I see the hulk's green complexion, next I see Thor lifting his hammer into the air victoriously, then Iron Man looking forward ready for action, then Captain America in a heroic stance and a charming smile, Hawkeye had his bow readied, and the Black Widow was in her battle position and wore a fierce look.

"Lithuania," America whispers, "You done now?"

I nod and America stands and takes my plate into the kitchen. Rather than following him, I continue to sit at the table and sigh.

"Hey, come on. I want to show you something." America lays his hand onto my back.

"Okay." I stand and allow him to entwine his hand in mine.

He leads me into the backyard and around the house.

"Look." America points to plants growing flourishingly.

I gasp and smile. The plants we had planted were growing their produce now.

America squeezes my hand, "We did good."

I laugh and nod my head in agreement. Our heads our somehow coming closer by the second. America's glasses slowly start to slide off of the bridge of his nose, I giggle and push them back up. He smiles and kisses me lightly.

"Go get ready, Lithuania." America pulls away morosely.

I nod my head with disappointment and enter the house. I peer out the window and see America running his hand through his dark-golden hair and sighing before he crashes into the closes chair. He wipes at his eyes with anger. He starts to turn towards the window so I rush away and up the stairs.

I close my door and lean against it. I wonder what happened to America. I decided I would confront him as soon as I went back down. I pull on a dress quickly and run a brush through my brunette locks. I stop in front of the mirror and do a small twirl. I suppose I looked presentable. I place my hand on the knob but before I could turn it I hear yelling from the first floor.

"You said _tonight!"_ A voice growls.

I hurry out of my room and dash down the stairs. I approach the room in which the conflict was taking place very cautiously. I peer over the corner. America and Russia. _What's Russia doing here?_

Russia's violet orbs flash up towards where I stood, pretty well hidden. A smile starts to form on his lips.  
I gasp and duck back behind the wall.

"It's not fucking night yet!" America yells with desperation.

Russia shrugs.

"Don't fucking shrug at me! We had a deal!" America's eyes are full of rage and a slight lust for blood.

"I made no such promise." Russia responds coolly.

"Y-you can't just- _do this!_" America says with exasperation.

"Da, I can." Russia stands up from the sofa and walks toward where I stood.

"_No!"_ America stands and starts to follow Russia.

Russia's smile widens and he tilts his head, "Hello Lithuania."

My mouth is parched and I have lost the ability to speak.

"L-Lithuania? Ha-have you been standing there this entire time?" America looks asks me with a hurt expression.

I nod and grab America's arm, "A-america? W-w-what is h-he doing here?"

Russia's eyes flash with envy and hatred as he responds for America, "I am here to take what is rightfully mine."

"America-san, tell me this isn't true!" I hold onto his arm tighter and squeeze my eyes shut with despair.

"I-I… I can't tell you that." America responds sadly.

"America!" tears start to form in my eyes as I gaze up at him, "N-no! You said you'd always protect me!"

Russia shifts impatiently and keeps his smile, although I can easily see the venom behind it.

"I-I can't anymore… I'm so sorry Lithuania." America whispers.

He then jerks my head into his chest and I didn't give a damn what Russia's reaction was.

"I-I love you Torii." America whispers into my hair.

"I love you too, America-san." I continue to cry.

I feel Russia jerk me back with anger. America glares at Russia, but this made Russia look amused.

"W-wait!" America grabs the back of my arm. I feel hope strike into my heart. But America just hands me a wrapped object, "Here, Torii. I got you a little something so you won't forget me. And um- who the real hero is." America then gives me a pained smile. I force a smile also and take the object, "T-thank you."

Russia eyes the object with scorn. Russia then steers me out of America's house quickly and forcefully.

"You are glad to be coming back with me, da?" Russia smiles as he looks down at me.

I nod.

"What?" He frowns and bends down with his hand cupped over his ear.

"Y-yes."

"Have you already forgotten my rules?" Russia tsk's as he grabs my arm and shoves me into the passenger seat of his car, "I suppose we must wait until we get home for punishment!" He starts to laugh and he slams the door.

* * *

I open the door to my former room and I am relieved to see Estonia and Latvia collapsed on the floor.

Latvia ceased his sobs when he saw me, "L-lithuania!" He jumps up and hugs me tightly.

"H-hey." I pat his head.

"Welcome back to hell." Estonia mutters under his breath.

I sit down next to Estonia and sigh.

"Freedom was beautiful." Estonia stares off wistfully.

I nod my head in agreement.

Latvia also stares off, "W-we could drink all of the liquor we wanted without punishments!"

I tilt my head back, "Free to be happy."

Estonia seems to snap out of the trance first as he stands up quickly. He laughs bitterly, "It was inevitable we'd be back, anyway. I suggest we get back to our chores, Russia is coming." Estonia assumes a feather duster and absentmindedly wiped at perfectly clean surfaces.

Latvia squeaks as he hurriedly grabs the broom. I also jump up and grab a cloth and wipe at the floor.

Russia opens the door, "I want all of you to meet me downstairs in five minutes." He disappears as quickly as he came.

Latvia groans quietly and buries his head into my shoulder. I stroke his head with affection. Estonia stares at the ground and broods. We had to wait for 4 minutes before we began to walk down the depressingly bland stairs. Well, bland compared to America's red carpeted stairs that had pictures hanging on the wall.

We all stood in a line and kept our eyes to the ground.

"Ah good, you three are perfectly on time!" Russia smiles brightly.

We do not respond, we just continue to stare down and hope for the best.

"I was curious of something." Russia starts to pace.

When none of us respond Russia wears a frown, "Do you not care and are not wondering what my curiosity is about?"

"N-no sir! We are deeply interested." We respond with our eyes still admiring the wooden floors.

"Do you three not like me?" Russia looks at us with slight anger.

"N-no sir! Why would you assume something like that?" Estonia laughs nervously.

"You three have no loyalty to me!" Russia's anger is rising.

"Mr. Russia, we are super loyal! Like a dog, actually. We sort of are like dogs since you sorta treat us like you treat your dogs-" Latvia starts but Estonia pinches his back, "Ow!" Latvia mutters.

Russia's smile returns but it hasn't a bit of happiness in it.

"We are very loyal to you, sir." I try to recover from what Latvia had said.

"THEN WHY DID YOU ALL LEAVE?" Russia demands as he slams his pipe onto the ground. We all flinch.

None of us had answers, though. Russia's starts to laugh coldly. How were we supposed to answer?

"You three will never leave again, I will make sure of it." Russia brandished his pipe.

Latvia starts to whimper.

"What was that, Mr. Latvia?" Russia spins around to face Latvia. Latvia's eyes widen and he begins to shake even harder.

"_I said,_ what was that, Mr. Latvia?" Russia raises his voice.

"I-I umm… W-we w-w-will never l-leave! A-and I-I am _so so _glad to hear that." Latvia whispers.

"Oh I'm sure you are." Russia smiles and raises his pipe.

Latvia's eyes widen even more and he begins to run.

"Latvia no!" Estonia calls with desperation.

Russia looks a bit confused.

"I-I AM TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Latvia cries.

"Damn it, stop running!" Estonia shuts his eyes tightly.

"B-but I'm a virgiiin!" Latvia wails.

"You have been spending too much time with Italy." Estonia sighs.

Russia however, was not amused in the least bit. Russia takes a few steps and looms over Latvia.

"Please, sir! I am sorry!" He cowers.

"You lie!" Russia growls as he brings his pipe down to strike Latvia.

Latvia sobs, "N-n-no! I a-am t-telling the t-t-truth!"

I could have sworn I saw sadness flash in his eyes as he realized how Latvia was lying.

Russia drops the pipe and without a sound he mounts the stairs and we hear his door shut. We all look at each other with confused faces.

"Let's clean." I whisper and stand up. Estonia nods and Latvia whimpers but moves slowly.

* * *

That night I climb down the stairs with my package from America and sit on the sofa in front of the hearth. My fingers trace the starry wrapping paper. In sharpie it read: _To Lithuania, From your friend, America._ I can almost hear America, _"Tear that thing open!"_  
I smile and tear at the paper. A comic book lies underneath the paper. "_Captain America!" _It read in big red letters. In smaller print above it, it said, "_Captain America… Commie smasher!" _I laugh. I turn the first page and America wrote a bit more.

_Lithuania,  
Always be able to distinguish the heroes from the villains and vice versa.  
I'll come back for you, I promise.  
-America_

"That's what the idiot got for you?" I jump from the sudden voice behind me. I turn around to see Russia peering at it with disapproval.

"Y-yes sir." I respond quickly.

"Give it to me." Russia commands. I hand it to him.

He eyes it and scowls a bit, "Highly inaccurate."

I gaze up at him as he flips through the pages rapidly. He then flips back to the beginning and frowns at the note America had left, "What is that supposed to mean?" Russia growls.

I look up innocently, "I have no clue."

Russia walks toward the blazing fire and dangles the comic over it.

"No! Please sir!" I jump forward and grab for it. He lifts it above my reach.

"Please, sir!" I beg once again.

He smirks, "Why do you want this piece of trash anyway?"

I had no answer. _My last piece of America._

"Hm?" Russia dangles it loosely.

"I-I like to read." I lie quickly.

"This is not good reading material. The parts are portrayed entirely wrong." Russia teases me as he lets it slip a bit.

"I-I know b-but please! It was a gift and I would rather not be rude."

"Like it matters. America is our enemy, understand?"

I suppose I hesitate for too long because Russia drops the comic into the flames.

"No!" I jump for it but I fall onto Russia's boots instead.

Russia laughs cruelly.

I feel so angry. Why does he always want me in misery?

Russia offers me his hand, surprisingly. I take it. I realize his true intentions when Russia grabs me and forces me to stare at the smoldering gift. He holds me to his body and I can feel his happiness radiating off of him. I feel his cold breath on the back of my neck and I hear his quiet laughter.

After it is nothing but ash, Russia asks me to take care of the fire. He walks up to his room contently and I am left to clean up the mess.

I let the ash color my fingers. Then I sweep the rest up and trudge up to my bedroom.

"Lithuania?" I hear a small voice whisper.

"Yes."

"Did Russia hurt you?" Latvia rolls over to question me with big blue-violet eyes.

"N-no. Why would you ask something like that?"

He looks at me like it is obvious, "Will you sleep with me?"

"S-sure." I respond shakily. I lie next to him and hold him in my arms.

"Will you tell me a story or sing me a sing?" Latvia looks up at me.

"Sure, about what?"

"Whatever. I just need something to occupy my mind."

"I understand completely." I rock him slightly.

I take a few seconds to think, "Once upon a time there was a little boy. He had a very sad life as a slave for a very very cruel man. The most powerful man in Europe. One time his master got sick so the boy and his siblings leave. They get a taste of freedom. They love it and they-" I choke a little bit, "They suffer for their rebellious behavior because they are caught. Although, in the end, the boy and his siblings become strong enough and leave. In fact all of them smile in the man's face without even a touch of fear."

"D'you really think that will happen someday?" Latvia inquires.

"Maybe." I respond and shut my eyes sleepily.

"Goodnight, Lithuania." Latvia whispers.

"Night, sweet dreams." I whisper back.

_There me and America sat on his porch and drank coffee. America went on and on about freedom. How beautiful it was and how everyone deserved it. America spoke of freedom like a person. Its beauty, what it consisted of, and how I now had it._

"_Lithuania you're free, now! Isn't it great?" America laughs._

* * *

**After the stock market crashed Lithuania went back to Russia.**

**America will come back, promise.**

**Captain America commie smasher is actually on one of the issues haha, look it up.**

**Tell me if you guys want smut at all.**

**Sorry if this one sucks… it's early morning… or late at night.**

**Whatever… I love you guys :)**


	12. Do You Remember?

I swept quickly and glance at the clock with fear. Russia should be home any minute now and he had been a horrible mood lately. About every time he came home he would rant on and on about America.

"Lithuania!" Latvia whispers as he wipes at a window.

"Yes?" I respond with obvious irritation creeping in.

"W-when w-will Mr. R-r-r-russia be back?"

"I-I believe soon." I look at him with pity. He had started his stuttering again.

Estonia rushed into the room, "Dinner is prepared, has Mr. Russia come back yet?"

"Not yet." I respond with a sigh.

"Oh dear, it will get cold and then he will be angry." Estonia starts to pace and he readjusts his glasses every few seconds.

Latvia bursts into a fit of tears, "W-we w-w-will surely be p-p-punished!" He sobbed.

"Pull it together you guys! He will be back soon." I massage my temples.

"Lithuania is right!" Estonia adjusts his tie, "Come set the table, Latvia."

Latvia sniffles but follows Estonia into the next room.

A knock suddenly came from the front door. I glance around nervously, I had to answer it.

"C-coming!" I call.

I open the door shakily to see a man.

A scowl immediately forms on my lips.

Crimson eyes stared into mine, messy silver hair on his head, and for once he didn't wear his usual smile.

"Prussia." I greet him through grit teeth.

"Lithuania?" He starts to question but Russia shoved him inside.

"Prussia will be staying with us!" Russia announces happily and strides toward the dinning room.

Prussia slouches, crosses his arms, and glares at the wooden floor.

"You are not here just to discuss business?" I lower my voice.

"Nein. I was taken here by force and against my own will."

I snort, "Join the club."

"Oh Lithuaaaniiaaa." Russia's voice sings, "Bring our new friend to the dining room."

"Y-yes sir!" I call and gesture for him to follow me.

* * *

Dinner was awkward, well awkward for everyone besides Russia. Russia toasted to himself and his smiles were full of triumph.

We were instructed to let Prussia sleep on the ground next to our bed. Prussia glared at Russia but Russia ignored his looks.

* * *

About a week later we all lie down, exhausted from a day full of work.

"Hey, Lithuania." I hear a voice whisper, most definitely a German accent.

"What?" I turn towards the noise with annoyance.

"It's funny, huh?"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." I respond with exhaustion.

"At one time _we_ bullied Russia, now he practically owns us." His voice had a touch of bitterness.

"_You _bullied Russia, I _never_ did."

"Yeah right, then why does he treat you worse than everyone else?"

"Shut up bastard." I growl and throw a pillow at where I believe his face to be.

He laughs, "Thanks, it was getting a bit uncomfortable down here."

"Damn it now give me my pillow back."

"No way, man. I have to sleep on the freaking floor."

"You deserve it you cocky bastard."

There was a silence for a little.

"You sure have changed, Lithuania." Prussia breaks it.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You used to be so… fierce and strong. I remember when you and your little blond boyfriend would almost defeat me in battles-"

"We beat you so many times that-"

He cuts me off, "Now you are so weak and pathetic. Always cowering and so submissive. Pretty funny. The same strong Lithuania who I would fight so long ago."

"Well you sure haven't changed." I respond coldly and turn away.

The words still echoed in my head as I turned over. _Weak, pathetic, always cowering, submissive. _To tell you the truth, I couldn't remember that Lithuania. She was gone. I shut my eyes and feel myself melting into her, though.

_I rode my horse fiercely toward the enemy. _

"_Victory to our troops!" I scream until my voice is hoarse. My troops were high in morale, as usual._

"_Glory to Grunwald!"_

_I could feel a new aura coming over me._

_He sat on his horse, as well ahead. His red eyes shined and his smile showed its usual confidence. _

_We fought good, his side did as well. _

"_Lithuania!" I hear Prussia's laugh._

"_Now." I mouth to my general. He nods his head._

_We all turn away mid-battle and "flee"._

_I smile with determination as I ride faster and faster away. I had planned this a few months ago. I prayed my strategy would work as well as I had planned._

_All of Prussia's men had chased after my men. They would be in for a big surprise when they found that I hadn't really run off._

"_Haha your friend ran off on you!" Prussia tilts his head back in laughter, "Too bad my people are after him. Now drop your sword and I'll send you to him."_

"_God, you're like a total big mouth. I can handle this myself." Poland growled up at Prussia._

_Prussia's face suddenly turned angry, "I said drop your sword swine!"_

"_Got it." Poland responded as his sword collided with the ground._

_Prussia looked at him with surprise, "Haha what's this? I didn't think you'd be this smart!"_

_Poland lowered his head and shut his eyes._

"_See ya."_

_Poland lifts his head and his bright green eyes flash open and the corner of his mouth lifts, "Totally late."_

_I grab at Prussia's sword and his red eyes widen, "D-didn't you… run away?"_

"_This is the battlefield! You should have been alert no matter how much you appeared to have the upper hand." I chide._

_I grab his sword from his hands and push him off of his horse. I jump from my horse to his and stare down at him, "Have you been so blinded by desire and lost what it takes to be knights?"_

_He stares up, still in disbelief, "C-could it be that you… Pretended to run away?"_

_I jerk the tip of the sword toward him and he stares up. He stands up (he is still in disbelief.) I toss his sword down onto the ground in front of him._

_Only then do I smile triumphantly and raise my own sword, "Victory is ours!" Poland mounts his horse and rides beside me into the distance._

"_Liet," Poland is breathless, "We were awesome! Did you see the look on that loser's face?"_

"_Yeah." I laugh back._

"_Those stupid Teutonic knights will think twice before messing with us!"_

_We hold hands tightly and lift up our entwined fingers into the air to signify victory. The cheers of our people ring out._

"Get up!" Prussia's harsh voice fills the air.

I sit up quickly, "I overslept!"

"You must have been having a really good dream, huh?" Prussia observes me.

"How'd you know?"

"I dunno, I just know."

"What was it about, anyway?" He asks.

I smile at him and stand up but I do not answer him.

* * *

Prussia has honestly made life at Russia's house even worse.

"Hey- hey- hey Lithuania!" Prussia laughs at my annoyed expression.

I have to keep calm since Russia is so close, "Yes Prussia?"

"What time is lunch?"

I glare at him and lower my voice, "Go the hell away."

He smiles and runs off to go bug Estonia.

I continue to scrub angrily.

That wasn't the only day.

I mop the halls quickly. Today had been good so far, I had avoided Prussia for most of the day. Finally, he decided to listen to Russia, and he is now cleaning our room.

I wipe at my forehead with exasperation.

Suddenly I hear laughter bursting out of our room.

"Kesesesesesesese!" The noise came over and over.

"What the hell is his problem?" I mutter and march towards the door.

I push the door open and immediately regret it. Prussia held up a maid's outfit.

"Kesese what is this Lithuania?"

"W-what the hell is wrong with you. I-I don't know." I stutter.

"Ja okay, so this is Latvia or Estonia's? Whatever. Besides it's your size!"

"Damn it, it's not mine!" I am on the verge of tears.

"Kesese strong Lithuania is even lower than I had originally thought! Does he make you _wear_ this? I remember when you wore _armor._ I guess you actually are just another servant for Russia, huh? Not even a bit of dignity left."

Suddenly I feel someone standing behind me.

"Leave her alone." I turn around and see Russia looming over me.

That's when I lost it. I burst into tears and ran out of the room, out of the house, and into the woods. Snow fell quickly but I didn't care. I continuously sob on a tree stump. He was right. I was weak now, I was just Russia's subordinate. I still hated him. A lot. I didn't care how right he was.

I am too tired to care at this point. The snow makes a nice pillow.

* * *

I hear a voice over me but I don't open my eyes.

"Do you remember when we were so little?" It was Russia's voice.

"Do you remember how small I was?" He pauses to chuckle, "Do you remember the rags I wore? How nicely you were dressed? Your cute little dog who didn't like me? I remember. I remember how pretty your hair was," He plays with a lock of my hair, "How you worried that I would get cold and sick." I made sure not to open my eyes.

"I remember every night, I went home and when I thought about giving up, when I believed I would never be a strong nation, I would dream of your emerald eyes and my promise. Do you remember my promise? I always keep my promises. And here you are! I told you we'd be friends, that I'd take care of you. See? I am strong and big now, Lithuania. Just for you."

I let his words linger a bit longer.

"I remember how mean Prussia was. I made a promise to myself that he would be smaller than me one day. I fulfilled that promise too! I remember he was such a bad child. No one likes bad children, right Lithuania? You were such a good child, I doubt you ever got punished when you were small. Tatar said I was a very bad child." I feel him shudder but he continues, "I remember Prussia was mean to you, too. I promised he would regret bullying both of us. I think I did, right? I took him from his brother. Nothing hurts like separation, right?" I hear him sniffle, "Nothing hurts more than loneliness. Than everyone you love disappearing."

I could relate, I remember being taken from Poland. I remember being strong, then. I remember promising to myself that I wouldn't cry. They say I am strong now, but it is a lie.

Russia grabs my hand and entwines his fingers with mine, "B-but it's okay now Lithuania! Wanna know why? Because we are strong now. I am going to kill America and we will be happy. I must kill Poland, too."

I accidently cringe.

"Lithuania?"

I open my eyes.

He strokes my cheek, "Are you okay now?"

I nod and try to sit up but he grabs me and pulls me down, "Ow." I mutter.

"S-sorry." He responds as he rubs my shoulders affectionately.

"It's okay." I whisper.

"Why'd you leave?" He tilts his head to the side.

"I-I don't know."

"You didn't even take a coat, that was very foolish."

"Yes sir, it was."

He grabs me into a hug but I stiffen.

"Why are you ashamed of the dress I bought you? I thought it was pretty."

"N-nothing it wrong with it sir." I bite my tongue to hold back more comments._ Maybe because I have to wear it when I get punished. Maybe because every time I see it I cringe in fear. Maybe because I can almost feel the whip tearing through my skin once again._

"You look so cute in it." He fiddles with the sheets.

"T-thanks sir."

He presses his hand to my forehead. I back away from the icy feel of his hands.

"A-am I cold?"

"Yeah just a bit, sir."

He looks sad, "I want to be warm, like you Lithuania, like the field of sunflowers. Like America."

"What?" I look up into his violet eyes that were filled with sorrow.

"I want to be warm so you can like me better."

"W-what are you talking about, sir?"

"I know why you like Poland and America better than me, Lithuania."

"N-no that's-"

"Because of course, who wouldn't pick summer over winter?" He glares at his reflection in a glass with bitterness.

"S-sir-"

"Don't even try to lie to me, Lithuania!" He growls.

I drop my gaze to my fingers.

"I know that America probably touched you… often." Russia crushes the glass in his hands. He doesn't notice the blood pouring out.

"R-russia no, it-it's not like that!"

"Liar! Why do you always lie to me?"

"N-no Russia I am not lying to you!"

He ignores me, "T-the way he gazed at you, how he protected you."

"America is gone now anyway. You took him away from me, just like everyone else." I feel old Torii coming back.

He widens his eyes in amazement, "I saved you, you have a nice big home here, food, clothes. You are not happy?"

I stare into his eyes and I suddenly see much more than the insane man I was used to.

_I peeked out from behind the tree I was standing behind._

"_I-I'm sorry Mr. Tatar!" A little boy cowered in front of a tall man with dark hair and dark skin._

_The man smashed the bowl at the little boy's head, "Did I say rice?"_

_The little boy didn't answer he just shook in the man's shadow._

"_DAMN IT BOY WHAT DID I SAY?" He growled._

"_Y-you said rice, sir." The pale boy protected his face._

"_We don't want children that can't play nice." The man pressed his boot against the small boy's back, "Do we?"  
_

"_N-no sir!" The boy whimpered._

_I got my bow ready, but before I could release the arrow, I realized that I wasn't strong enough. He would kill me in an instant._

"_I'm sorry." I whispered towards the small beaten and bruised boy._

"N-no, I am grateful." Russia had it so much worse.

"I am glad." Russia smiled then pat my head, "Now please get some rest, little Lithuania." He sits back in the chair he sat in and shut his eyes.

"Goodnight Russia-san." I whisper then shut my eyes.


	13. Misery Loves Company

**Hey you guys! Sorry I haven't been updating all that much lately, I just got released from school so expect more!**

**:) Thanks for reading, review if you like it.**

* * *

Everything seemed to be changing. Even Prussia seemed to wear a solemn expression which did not fit his features or personality well. I swept aimlessly and observed my former enemy. He seemed to stare out the window longingly, he wiped at the window again and again, when he neglected to repeat for a while and when fog would appear on the glass, he would trace a frowning face, then wipe it away quickly in fear it would be discovered. We all hated the Soviet Union. Latvia cried more as Russia became increasingly violent, Estonia continued to hide cleverly, Prussia only glared when Russia's back was turned, and I did all I could to stay out of his way, which never seemed to work. As for Belarus and Ukraine, they had seemed unaffected. Belarus seemed to only admire her older sibling more and Ukraine's pleas for him to stop being so 'mean' always went ignored. Russia was gone as of right now and we all hoped he would not be back anytime soon, all of us seemed to glance at the clocks every few seconds. I had been having sharp pains everywhere as soon as I woke up. I knew something had happened to my people or to my country, yet I would never know, I would just stand here and sweep in pain and distress.

Belarus walked down the stairs and narrowed her eyes as she tried to find even the smallest speck of dust. She seemed to hate me the most, regardless of how much I admired her. I was still clueless of why she directed all of her hatred towards me. I returned my full attention to sweeping as her eyes glazed over me. Latvia began to whimper quietly beside me.

"Shhh, keep dusting." I whisper quickly and glance back up at Belarus.

"O-okay." He sniffles.

Prussia was not afraid to glare openly at Russia's sister.

"What are you looking at?" Belarus sneered at the albino.

"The devil herself, I believe." He dropped the dusty cloth onto the window sill and took a daring step towards her.

"I'll show you the fucking devil." She growled and pulled a knife out of her apron.

"Bring it on, bitch!" He responded and readied his fists.

"No!" I stand up quickly. Belarus turned towards me quickly and jerked the knife towards my throat.

"This doesn't concern you, whore." Her eyes flash with malign as she looks at me.

"I-I think Mr. Russia would be severely disappointed to see blood on his new carpet, that's all miss!" the words tumbled out quickly and are barely recognizable.

She narrowed her eyes, I knew she agreed although she wasn't too keen on showing it, "My brother does not concern you, remember that." She pulled the recently polished knife away from my throat and stepped away and stalked back up the stairs.

"I coulda handled her and put us all out of our misery." Prussia frowned and turns toward me.

"She is far from the source of our misery." I remark bitterly and turn back towards the broom.

Prussia does not reply, he just turns back towards the window and continues to absentmindedly wipe. Estonia appeared out of a nearby closet, he wore a nervous expression.

"Is she gone?" He whispered.

"Yes." I sighed.

Latvia's eyes filled with tears, "What if she killed you?" He threw his sobbing body into my arms.

Estonia's eyes widened as he pulled Latvia away, "Be quiet will you? If you continue speaking with that volume she will come back and kill us all."

Latvia wiped at his eyes and nose but nodded.

Prussia sighed and breathed on the window heavily until he saw vapor, he scribbled a '_save me_' before he hurriedly wipes it away.

Suddenly the sound of a key turning in a lock filled the silent air. We all stand up straight and look engrossed in whatever chore we were doing.

Estonia hurried by the door and tried to stop shaking, I held Latvia close, and Prussia didn't look like he cared. Russia entered the room with two other men. I silently thanked god as I noted how good of spirits Russia was in. One of the men had identical red eyes (to Prussia) that he observed the room with under his strawberry blond hair and wore a smile that seemed creepy. Oddly his teeth were razor sharp. The other man also wore a smile except it seemed like he had just been enjoying a joke, he had olive skin and dark hair. All three were clad in military uniforms.

"Ah welcome home, sir!" Estonia said with his voice only slightly shaking. Estonia took the coat from Russia's body and hung it up on the coat rack.

"We will be in my study, I expect dinner on the table and ready before I am finished." Russia responds dismissively and mounted the stairs towards his study, the two nations trailing behind.

As soon as the door clicked I turn towards Estonia, "Who were those two?"

Before Estonia could open his mouth Prussia responded, "I recognized the pale one as Romania," His voice suddenly got much quieter, "Hungary's rival."

Estonia finally responded, "The other one I believe is Bulgaria. They are also under the iron curtain."

After that, Prussia seemed intensely annoyed as he wiped, it was obvious he did not like Romania. After Estonia informed me that it is my night to do dinner, I hurried to the stove and reached for a cookbook. _What would Russia enjoy with company?_ I settled on a dish Russia had complemented on in the past, Pelmeni. I worked at it swiftly, who knew how long I had until Russia bored of his vodka and company. I burnt myself in the hurry, I do not succeed in suppressing the string of curses that come.

I heard the door open quickly behind me, I turn to see Estonia enter.

"Lithuania!" Estonia's eyes are wide.

"I am sorry, did anyone hear?" I ask as I run cold water and place my hand under it.

"No one besides Prussia, Latvia, and I. What example are you setting for Latvia?" Estonia places his hands on his hips.

I lower my eyes with shame, being a good role model was the last thing on my mind, I could not imagine little Latvia using those words, anyway, "I'm sorry Estonia, I will be a good role model from now on." I made a mental note to only curse in Lithuanian.

He nodded contently and left the room.

I immediately hurried to the dish and attended to it. As soon as it was complete I called Latvia into the room.

"Is the table set?" I turned towards Latvia.

He nodded, "Y-yes, of course."

I sigh with relief, "Thanks, Latvia." I pet his head affectionately.

He blushed under my hand.

"Get some vodka on the table while I go to inform him." He nodded and hurried to the cabinet.

I mounted the stairs slowly with dread. It had become natural for me to feel uneasy every time I knew I would have to talk to him. I dragged myself towards the door and raised my hand to knock.

"She will be crushed." I heard Russia's voice, it sounded amused and light-hearted.

"Yes indeed." A voice agreed.

It suddenly became silent and I feared that they knew of my presence, so I crept away and walked towards the door, making my footsteps heavier. I took a deep breath and knocked.

"Da?" Russia's voice responded.

"Dinner is ready, sir." My voice was shaky.

There were a few seconds of silence then Russia spoke, "Come in, Lithuania."

I hesitate before I open the door, "Y-yes sir."

As soon as he sees my face a smile spread onto his lips and an amused expression spread over his face, causing me to shiver.

"We will be down in a second." Russia finally responds.

I continue to stand there, full knowing the consequences of leaving without dismissal, this made Russia frown slightly but his eyes still had the same amusement, "You may go."

I hurried out. As soon as I shut the door, I heard Russia's laughter. I nearly ran down the stairs.

"Slow down!" Estonia barked as he ran to steady a vase.

"Sorry." I breathed. I looked over the table and straightened up the plates and silver ware until I was satisfied, then I put the food onto the plates and waited for Russia and his comrades.

We all stood along the walls of the dining room, our backs straightened, and our shoulders back. Suddenly we heard their voices approaching and we used everything in us to stop from cringing.

They enter and sit, their chatter continued. I note how Russia's gaze always seemed to land on me, almost as soon as it did, a smug look came over his face. He didn't stop staring until I give in, I force myself to look down, only then did he resume his attention to his comrades.

As they finished, they stood and shook hands. Russia seemed unusually hospitable as he smiled, almost with charm rather than creepiness.

As they leave he turned to us, "Clean this up." We all murmur an obedient 'yes sir'. He sat in his large chair in front of the fire and sips vodka. Every time Prussia passed the room he would glare in at the back of the chair and mutter curses in German.

We cleaned and hoped that Russia's good mood stayed. We cleaned even when there was nothing to clean, if we just stood, Russia would see it as laziness, laziness was viewed as being unloyal, being unloyal of course deserved punishment.

Russia staggered out sometime of the night, as we all did our 'mock clean'.

"You are all dismissed to bed." He waved us off, "Lithuania, please attend to the fire." Russia smiled as my expression assumed disappointment.

I walked to the fireplace, aware of him following me.

"Thank you, Litva." Russia whispered.

I ignored him and attended to the flames that started to rise the more I poked.

When I turned around I jumped in surprise when I found that he was right behind me. His icy stare was on me.

"May I go to sleep now?" I whispered.

He smiled, "Of course, just please take care of that newspaper." He jerks his hand towards a newspaper that sat on the table beside him.

"Yes, sir."

With a smirk he left the room. I stared after him, I was completely lost. Why was he acting so odd?

I shook the thought out of my head, it didn't matter. I wasn't getting any punishments tonight, thank god. My eyes shifted over to the paper that sat on the table across from me. I wasn't ready to 'take care' of it yet. Why did his eyes flash with amusement when he glanced at the paper? It most likely read the casualties of my country. I dreaded to take a look. I had to sometime. I just stood and stared at it. Finally the fear of Russia having cameras installed throughout the home made me jerk my hand towards the paper. I looked away as my hand grasped it. I held it in front of me but I didn't look. I was strong, I could handle whatever he had done to me. I took and deep breath and my eyes shot to the paper. What it was was something I had not anticipated at all. I drop it with a gasp. My hands are shaking.

_Poland captures Vilnius_

I fell to the floor, _Poland?_ How could he do this to me? My best friend. I don't even attempt to hold back the tears that fall freely. The worst part was, I couldn't wish ill-will on him. I should hate him! I should wish that he gets _his _capital taken away. But I couldn't. It hurt even more to wish against him, I found it was impossible. I couldn't hate my best friend. I felt even angrier as I realized the purpose of Russia's smug looks and amused eyes that flashed towards me constantly. I hate him so much. I seize the paper and throw it into the fire with anger. I stand up shakily and watch it burn, I watch the words become nothing. _Poland, why?_

I sighed deeply and wiped at my eyes. I forced myself out of the room and trudged up the stairs. Suddenly a voice came from a room down the hall.

"Litvaaa." It sung.

I stopped, but I do not turn to face it. I wanted to ignore the calling, but I knew I couldn't.

"Do not ignore me, surely you know the consequences." I shuddered at first. How could he say such venomous words with such a sweet tone?

I finally turned and slowly approached the door, "Yes, sir?" I prayed my voice doesn't sound impatient. I found him sitting in a chair, the glow of the fire lighting the room.

He smiled, "Come in."

I did not. I stood at the door and stared. Surely forcing me to look at that newspaper was punishment enough.

He frowned, yet his eyes seemed to glow with happiness at my defiant attitude, "Litva, do we need to be punished."

Finally I relented and closed the door softly behind me; I approached him as slow as possible. His smile returned, "Good choice."

I glared at him and crossed my arms. A smile formed on his lips as he beckoned me to come closer.

I obeyed the first time being asked, this time. I knew all too well that he didn't have much tolerance for disobedience (to be honest I was surprised he hadn't already snapped).

I stood in front of him and he observed me. His smile broadened, "Have you been crying, my little Litva?"

My head snapped away and I grit my teeth, "No."

He laughs and grabbed my face to turn it toward him, "Did your dear Poland hurt you?" His tone was mocking and harsh.

"N-No. I wasn't crying." I insisted, my eyes not meeting his.

"Did your best friend turn on you? Is he so great now?" Russia sneered.

I didn't answer so he continued to rant.

He reduced me to tears. I try to run out of the room, but he caught my arm. He laughed.

"You monster." I whispered

His eyes widened and his expression turned angry, "Aren't you mad at Poland? I'm not the monster, he is!" He seized my shoulders and behind the anger I sensed hurt.

"I am angry at him, of course!" I growl back. I felt the old Lithuania coming back.

"Why are you angry at me?" His yells were hushed so that he wouldn't wake anyone.

"You really don't know?"

"Damn it, tell me!" He shook me violently causing me to speak quickly and on impulse.

"I hate you!"

Suddenly the atmosphere grew quiet and cold. Russia's eyes suddenly showed melancholy, however, it took a few seconds for them to change. Violet eyes full of rage burned into my eyes. He pushed me away harshly. I fell onto the ground with a heavy force. He stared down, every part of his features showed his wrath, save for his smile.

"Get up." He growled.

I scrambled up, I knew I had gone too far. We were to be loyal and devoted to him, hate was the worst thing we could possibly say. I had invoked his wrath one again, this time, he was angrier than ever.

He started to pace, he seemed to not even be able to look at me.

I heard his whispers, "Why Litva, why?"

He grabbed a vase and hurled it at the wall, "WHY?" I couldn't look at him, my gaze burned into the shattered pieces.

He walked towards me angrily. He grabbed my chin and tilted it up, "Look at me." His tone kept the harshness it had.

My eyes meet his. His eyes were hard and enraged, still. I couldn't handle the cold glare, my eyes dart back to the ground.

"Do you know how to listen?" His grip on my face hardens.

"S-sorry." I choke and look back up.

If he felt remorse at all, he was good at hiding it.

"Stay." He commanded me. I manage a nod before he disappears into his closet.

I shuddered and glanced around the room. The fire gave the room an eerie light, regardless of it, the room was freezing. What was the point of it?

Suddenly his voice interrupts the silence, causing me to jump, "Maybe you will learn your lesson." I turned to see him brandishing a whip in his hands. I couldn't say I wasn't expecting this.

I honestly have no wish to elaborate on what happened after. My deepest desire is to erase the entire thing from my memory, but it isn't possible. Every time I shut my eyes I see his violet eyes and smile. When there is only silence I hear his voice . I want to block out everything he said about America. I hope they were all empty threats. Everything hurts. I cringe with every move. At lease I was granted the day off, I doubt I would have been able to do anything anyway. The only downside is being left to think over and over again of what had happened.

Why had it happened? I wonder why Russia hates me. I wonder why he would want to hurt me for silly reasons. Then again, misery does love company. I hate the feeling of not being able to cry. Have you ever cried so much that you couldn't anymore? I have much more feeling in me that needs to be sobbed out, yet it won't go. I haven't gotten any sleep because of all the things in my head. Poland, Russia, America. They seem to always be there. My headaches have gotten worse. I am going to take a bath, I will write when I am done.

* * *

I have to write this down:

I stepped out of the tub and grabbed for my towel. I drained the tub and draped the towel around my body. I was glad that the hot water had made me feel slightly better, for a short time Poland was no longer the subject of my thoughts and I wasn't constantly fretting over how Russia might fulfill his promise and kill America slowly and painfully. I stood in the mirror for a bit and looked at myself, finally my eyes weren't red and puffy. I hated the feeling of possibly vainness so I turned away and dropped my towel. I grabbed for my dress, but as I did so I caught a glimpse of my back fully exposed in the mirror. What I saw caused me to gasp and my eyes to become watery once again.

**Ивана**

_Ivan's._ It was forever etched onto my back. I threw myself against the wall and a dry sob came. _If only nations could die._ I wanted to kill myself so I no longer could be his. But I couldn't. It wasn't possible. So now I am writing this and actually wishing that tears would come. I knew that last night had been that worst punishment yet, still I hadn't believed that he would do _this._ I am going to try and sleep now. I wish that I could sleep my life away. Yours truly, Torii.

* * *

**Sorry about mean Russia, I just think that Soviet-Russia is cruel and sadistic. I think I'll add some nice Russia next chapter, if you guys want :)**

**Thanks for reading, love ya'll.**


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